Here am I.....not wanting to do anything.....my heart is so heavy, discerning whether is it time to move on..if it is...wouldn't God make it clear to me. Health is getting worst....from migraine to foot and now womb....what is wrong actually? I wish God could deliver me in a miraculous way....but guess it didnt happen, this thorn in flesh for my good ? Lord, i really don't know. All I know I am free from being bound.....I know I had overcome that....but why this pain still persist? Am I not walking in Your will ?
I had 3 emotional days, seeing Pastor Sam and his team ministering to my girls.....my heart always for them....I desire for them so much to grow and learn to love Jesus....but it always hurt me when they are not being obedient, perhaps my expectation is too high....sometimes I felt what I had poured to them is just pouring water down the drain...giving pearl to swine....but I know that is what the devil want me to think...it is not so....God sees all my tears, He sees all that I had poured to them...He sees how much I had sacrificed, finances, time and resources. But I just find it hard to overcome this barrier....my heart constantly battle with the thoughts that nobody cares. I know I am bless with my assistant now...I have a spiritual father that loves me much. what else do I want ? Lord, help me please....I really cant do it on my own strength....I wanted to be overcomer, but I always feel I am a defeater....reach my heart Abba.....
This is my 5th year....what would you have for me beyond this ? Lord, please help me to rise.....
