Thank You Abba for solid friendship

Just went out 4 brekkie 4 my F6 classmate

It was an unplanned thingy and she is willing to come all da way frm serdang to meet me, so paiseh for me to reject. Had good time with her

26 June 2019, 9.30 am
Hmm....the above message was truncated since 5 June 19 :) Busyness in life...takes all of me...that I always have to tell myself to pace down and rest...

Yesterday was really an overwhelming day...woke up 5am...have my time alone, then prayer with all the girls...and then start preparing to cook for my girls. That was my first time ever in life cooking for 46 students and I kind of dread it coz it was their mistake not telling me that all have to go school at the same time, leaving no one to prepare lunch for them. I can in a form of strike, dont do anything, let them come back hungry and cook their own meal...but guess that is not how I am wired....full of love and compassion....as usual...though mouth cakap tak mau...I will still do it...so prepare all ingredients that I can...and then I felt I should take a nap...so went into room and rest, in less than 15 mins...warden next door call and said someone wanna see me....so up I go...and driver passed dress for my girls...which he suppose to send to sch but he sent it to hostel...and knowing my girls been waiting for the dress for their hari guru n raya cina, raya melayu....so...drove myself to their sch and pass them their dress...came back..it was already 9 plus....and there I am....start to cut my vege and preparing to cook....finished cooking, thought now I can take rest...warden wife call me...to go lunch with her....so...again....i went out...haha.....thats the consequences of not being able to say no...but its ok...coz I always enjoyed the fellowship with her and pray she will rise to the occassion to be a good warden's wife and support much as she can ...

Came back...was abit upset...hostel is quite messy, and I had a good lecture to the girls...and asked them to do their duty....then, slowly began to find out many are having boyfriends in school...and during the 4 days I was away, some girls broke rules, etc...was abit disappointed...its like one after another and I was dead tired...but one after another, I called into office for query and then even more disappointment to find out more...thats why I never wanted to probe the kids here unless they tell me truth, but coz I was away for many days, just wanna find out how they are doing here without me around...manatau...backfire...so many things I find out...perhaps it is a sign that Abba dont want me to be over confident over my girls. I am kind of proud of them...to me they are the best girls I ever had...so far things been fine...they are obedient and I can see many positive improvement...but...yea...young people...thats the challenges they face...yesterday, really so so tired...from 4pm to 10pm...counselling more than 10 girls...so so draining...

This morning woke up...the circle continue...but I was more calm...and God spoke sth into my heart....Lord...thank you for this revelation. Help me to do the best I can....seal them in your precious blood that no scheme of the enemy will be able to influence them...

Personally for me....really have grown so much....sometimes...I am amazed by my own calmness and not affected much by emotions anymore...still abit...but it takes lesser time to overcome it....and I am so thankful for Abba to send Pr Jeremiah last week to minister here...how He knows just the right timing. Also...how God had provided for my car break repair even before it broke down....God is really good. The Melaka team that came, a sister gave me offering of RM 500, and she emphasis it is for me....probably she knew thru pastor that the last time I receive the offering I actually given it away to the male warden & wife and a volunteer...like this time, somehow He know that I am going to need this money and she emphasis the money for me....so I kept that for myself....and wow....less than 1 week...haha...I needed RM 520 for the repair of car...and I am thankful He had preserved me....coz I could have lose control of car if it broke down totally while I was driving....I know for sure...the angels is taking care of me....

Many people are amazed at my boldness to step out and serve....but to me, anyone can be as me...all they needed is that first step and the rest...guarantee Abba will take care, and no one would be able to relate to my experience, except myself...the journey is great....but sometimes can be very lonely...coz no one can identify with me...many ppl said...oh Celina you are doing great job...my standard answer it is all Him and do please pray for me and my ministry here....but I wonder how many really take that seriously and carry the mantle of prayer for me....not to judge....but it is normal, even myself...sometimes I said I pray for you...but do I really take time to feel how they feel...so many are guilty of that....I thank God for Pr Goh and my papa....without them, I guess I wont be that strong....

Lord...continue to fan that zeal in my heart, in times of weariness...let me always lean back to You and never give up...Thank you Abba....for the grace and mercy you bestow into my life...i am forever grateful to you...Help my family to grow as well, esp my sis, in her family...bind them as a family and never allow enemy to sow seed of unforgiveness, for my koko and family...for their salvation...Abba...it has been such a long years...dont let me wait so long Abba.....let them have that special encounter with you...and for mommy...take care of her health and safety as she stay alone in the house...help me not to entertain the negative thoughts that I always take care of other people but neglect my own family....Help me Lord to rise above all situation and lead me to be where You want me to be Abba....TQ Jesus....the lover of my soul, my best friend, my all in all......

Reminder of that First Call....Oct 2013

It's Father's day this weekend, while many are celebrating, I am as well, celebrating God as my Abba, giving thanks to Him for bringing me a spiritual father despite those old days when I asked him to be my mentor and he told me he is not suitable as he is a man, but throughout these years, our relation just grew, with him being a catalyst for me to enter into full time ministry. These 3 years, He had given me a lady pastor whom I barely know to walk me through toughest time, and a spiritual dad whom I can look up too, what more can I ask?

My heart is so thankful, despite my health issue, despite all the negatives setback frm family, I had fought it all through and had a shift of mind, and I know the Lord is stretching me much, and I know I had progressed well, all because of His power that is at work in my life.... Lord, how thankful I am to You... My lover, my comforter, my all in all...my heart is full...
I still miss my papa, but I know he has a special place with Abba in heaven... I am thankful, He has taken good care of my mama that's alone at home in Penang...one thing I am still waiting Abba.... The day my koko and family will know You.... Lord, you have Your way in his family... Intervene Abba....
Life here in hostel is crazily hectic, I have so much things I wanna accomplish... I don't know how long this season going to be, but I know He has all the answer, I just need yo walk step by step guided in His love.
I came across my own testimony in my archives, I just wanna put it down, it was there in the serenity of Cambodia He spoke to me.... And I just wanna hold it dear in my life....

Led by His Spirit

Mission Trip to Cambodia 30^th Oct – 4^th Nov 2013.

I have been to mission trip few times in the past, normally just helping out here and there, but did not take any heavy responsibility. For this trip, it's no difference, I thought that I'll just go and help whatever I can, did not prepare much for this mission till the last week before we went, one sister have to pull out from the trip due to health issue, and me and another sister were put in charge of the children ministry. Then I started to do my best to prepare whatever I could, not knowing much about the condition at each villages. I was pretty much lack of sleep as every night I would be thinking and preparing for the trip as I'm the person who want things to be exactly as I planned.

The first day where I am supposed to teach, I am pretty nervous, when I reached the village, my mind went blank seeing so many children and we were at open field, whatever I prepared doesn't seems to be of much use, I whisper a prayer “God...it has to be You”...and whatever that comes to my mind, I just do it, and I'm really amaze by how His Spirit guides me and I'm having lots fun with the children. Subsequently, the next 2 session, I asked another sis to teach, and for the last day, I wanted her to lead too. I felt inadequate and I felt she did a better job than me, but somehow God reminded me of things He spoken to me before I came for the mission trip "rise up and take position". I obeyed and commit to Him for my last session. When I was at Baptist Church for the Sunday School, I was truly touched again that how the Holy Spirit guides and lead me. I can really feel his Spirit is leading me and there is so much joy in the heart, sing, play games and telling them about love of Jesus.

After Sunday School, I went for the Agape Church Sunday Service, during worship, I just couldn't contain my tears, He just minister deep in my heart that He is the God that will leads me, as long as I surrender. He reminded me again of what He has spoken to me when I was in Israel. Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me" for 3 times, and He commanded Peter to feed His lamb. I have been longing to reach out, but along the way, the passion died off as I feel I can’t do much as I don’t have much gift to offer.

In the evening, at Yang Meng ministry, during worship, I saw a vision of axe and iron and the word chisel came to my mind. I felt that God speaking to me that He is sharpening me, an axe which is rubbed against iron, sharpened it to chop woods, as long as I surrender this life to Him, He is going to use me. That was the impression I have. I tried to brush it off, thinking it is my emotions stirred for the moment.  Then Sis Yang Meng gave word of knowledge that some of us are called into mission, my heart pumped very fast, I was asking the Lord…it wouldn’t be me right? After the service, suddenly I look at the wall, and there is this drawing of axe, and I just tremble.

I had so much to digest in this mission trip, in one way of another, I felt like a puzzle which slowly form the picture of my life. I came without any expectation, but God have His way. I knew that mission have always been the desires of my heart, but am I called for that? Is it possible? Well, at least now I have really caught the vision and I know that He will prepare me, I just need to really surrender my all to Him and let Him take over.

Throughout the 8 days in Cambodia, I had the opportunity to hear from servants of God who is serving faithfully in Cambodia. How my heart aches to hear some of their struggles, yet impressed by how our God that faithfully provides. I extended 2 days to stay with a Malaysian pastor who gave herself to serve in Cambodia for the past 8 years. My reason is purely to catch up, but never did I know that God is really doing a surgery in my heart. With so much time on my own and with no internet connection, I am connected to the Lord most of the times J I just felt He is healing me and I began to understand why certain events took place in my life. There is this assurance that nothing is in vain. Whatever brokenness and pain I had been through, it will be used for His glory. I really came back feeling so refreshed.

There are so much take home message from the mission trip and so much more to share. The harvest is plentiful, but workers are few. I pray that more people would respond to His call into the harvest field.

  

In Him,

Celina Moy

梅谨君

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