30 July 2019

Paul once said: “The Spirit ... helps our weaknesses; for we do not know how to pray as we should but ... intercedes for us ...” (Rom 8:26). Aren’t you glad that you have someone to represent you before God when you are too heart broken with painful circumstances? When you are too exhausted and you don’t know how to express your sorrow before Him? God has given His Spirit who dwells within you and will not only sees the depths of your wounded and crushed feelings but will translate those feelings and articulating them before God. He fully understands what you need. So, you need not fear if God will acknowledge the cries of your heart because the Spirit does the work of transforming your petitions into acceptable and pleasing sacrifices. Even when you think you are failing in your prayers, He ensures that you are heard. Most of all, He guarantees that all those trials you are facing are not in vain but your faith will be built up as you respond to Him in obedience.

He is always timely. Had a very good chat with mama Meng...what I needed most, someone who would hold my hand and pray.... God sent two, and I believe hearing my testimony of how God brought me through each and every trials and obstacles have in a way encourage a sister that I just know. And how both commit me in prayer, it meant so much to me...been crying alot recently....guess that's my way of releasing myself.... Always remember Psalm 56:8 that God collect my tears 🤣 thinking back, why do I get so upset with the kids? They really have improved a lot, why must I be so hard on myself that whenever they slack, I will deem myself as bad warden? One that never teach them well.... LORD help me.... Guess this morning God taught them a very valuable lesson. I'd mention to them, but now it happen right in front of all of them, all eyes have seen, while all of them are enjoying their breakfast, here came the warden to take her portion and found not a single plate left for warden. I responded well to them, with a loud voice, I said, oh no breakfast left for me...so sad, but its OK... And I could hear pin drop if there is, coz complete silence. Well, this is not the first time, and I'd told them nicely, what are ways to appreciate me and its not just say but with action... Today all of them faced the immediate reality of their selfishness... And I believe many of them felt bad, anyway... God allow things happen for reason... And after 1 hour I got a fried noodles frm them, but I'd oredi my own milo and biscuits and therefore rejected their offer coz I was full and I gotta eat brekkie fast coz I needed to take my supplement.
Not that I wanted them to serve me, but what a disappointment that they would keep food for their friends, but why never think of their warden who tirelessly take care of them? Am I not worth anything to them and being taken advantage? Hmm... Still a human which needs love lar... And appreciation... Anyway we had a good day outing just now, but came back dead tired... Time to rest and recuperate again....

23 July 2019

Just felt quite burden this morning, Lord help me....
Ystd went out with a girl, trying to help her in her struggles but I did not manage to get her to talk much, but i was sharing more of my experience, I showed her my pinky,sharing how
I tried to take my life previously and some of my life stories with her. Seeing her, it was as if I am seeing myself, rejected and abandonment spirit so strong, that everything I do I don't need to depend on people but all I need is just God. Seeing her it was as if I was looking back my life and I'm thankful how God ministered to me, how I never gave up seeking and asking Him to help me in my struggles.
My heart ache, even as I pray for her, could feel that helplessness in her and how she's crying for attention and love. Lord, grant me the strength to love and disciple the kids here, give me discernment if there are things I needed to know but the kids are hiding from me, most important is that their faith will be roooted in You Abba.
Life indeed is a journey, Lord lead me to where you want me to be, crucify every fleshy desire that's not of You Lord....

Amazing Grace, indeed... How Faithful is He

After a busy day...cooking and tapau to school for 45 kids, on the way back to hostel, I got a surprise, really surprise beyond I can imagine...

Last Saturday a lady whom I knew from a youth camp called me up and told me that she has a Korea mission team wanting to visit student hostel and she thought of me. She asked me what I needed for the hostel, ie groceries, etc... But I told her we are bless here with our sponsor frm. KL. I got abit bolder to ask for education funds, if they are willing. I never expect that they would agree coz my F5 and F6 will only get their placement nx year and funds will be channel to the needy by then
They agree to sponsor 5 of my girls, and I'm so so glad that today, even the F4 kids who is potential will be helped too coz their giving is for 2 years.

I'd been praying about this education funds and seeing the needs for it for some time. How Abba granted this to me without me asking and kept knocking on it, indeed He is good. This yr I managed to collect quite a good amount too frm my personal friend as a start, and I was thinking to myself, I can't be asking my friends every year coz they will be scared of me, anyway I took one day a time, as long as this yr I'd helped the school leavers, nx year batch God will definitely provide again, and true enough... Oh I am so so so bless. He is such a great great God.
Today too, I didn't know I have to cook for so many ppl but Abba knew, of all days my friend decided to come this week. He really knows all my needs without fail, He failed not. Oh what a journey, of His love, His assurance, His Faithfulness in my life. Thank You Abba 😘😘😘😘

Pressing on....

NEW STRENGTH FOR TODAY

Day:Tuesday Date:09.07.2019

Text: Isaiah 43:18 NKJV

Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old.

Life has no reverse or pause button. it is vital not to look back but look forward.

Prayer: Lord, teach me to number my days and live with Your future in mind for there is no reverse or pause button in life. 

●Psalms 144:4 NKJV

Man is like a breath; His days are like a passing shadow.

Life is too short to waste on things that don't matter. So, don’t dwell on yesterday’s. 

Let God bring lasting change to you for His glory by looking forward. Do not take life for granted. 

●Psalms 90:12 NKJV

So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Time is not renewable. You can’t replenish it. Redeem time by prioritizing and touching as many people as you can. 

🔴THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: 

Today is the youngest you will ever be and the oldest you have ever been.

8.7.2019 - Grateful heart

Weekend usually should be the most relax day but for me it's normally paling busy tome of the week where I'll try to do activities with them, help whoever needed help in their studies, marketing etc.

Ystd after the Korean team left, I forced myself to have family meeting w the girls and make all necessary announcement and then slept at 6plus evening till 5am. Should have more than enough sleep but when I woke up my head was so painful 😭 oh Lord, I just wish that this thorn in flesh be removed. Its now became a monthly affairs that my migraine hit me

Woke up still and had my prayer with the girls as usual and I thought just went back to sleep, thank God I din

I choose to talk with the girls, make them do some chores and I realised, my head not that pain anymore. Praise God, I realised sometimes yea, the happy pills are time I spend w the girls and heart that's joyful indeed a great medicine. Now I'm back to normal, but needed to slow down abit

Thank God for a helper later in evening, my friend coming to stay w me a week, and just at a very right timing where my projek masak utk 45 kids is happening again tomorrow 🤣🤣🤣

Just now I went thru my iPhone WhatsApp msg, and I'm so glad to see kids msg to her dad, one that she resented, because of many family issue. I counselled and pray 4 reconciliation, visitors came and share also. On forgiveness and love and I believe she had open up her heart to her dad again, at least now she can say thank you pak for the barang her dad bring to her... I'm forever grateful for the work of the Holy Spirit in this place, Daddy, please help me to overcome my health challenge... Nothing is too great that You cannot do it, give me strength to be able to give thanks despite my situation Lord 😘

Help me to always submit to You and be humble to learn frm you continously. I'm looking forward to trip to Miri... Planned so many things but all tak jadi, and believing that trip to Miri would be great as its not intended but You made it possible. Tq Abba

Love you Jesus, my lover of my soul, my best friend and my helper in times of need. 

• #eternallygrateful#