Its a new year, and I'd entered this new year with much challenges....the most significant was my pain on my foot, thumb and finger. I thought I could endure the pain quite well, but it had came to a level where I cannot endure anymore. Feeling quite frustrated with the "handicapp" i had. I havent been touching any work in the hostel, I know it do me good, but still...so much to be done....expecting the students to do it means I have to lower down my expectation so much.
Yesterday, my heart just ache...for the things happening in the hostel, for the things spoken with my sis and my own emotion and feeling really got me down...oh Lord....there are many deepest things that only You understand. Help me run this race with perseverance. There are times I just wish I can go home....there are times I felt I will be..earlier than anyone would guess....but is it just what I want or is it sth that is going to happen? I do not want to die with pain, but I want to leave this world leading many people to Christ. Perhaps I have the blood of martyr in me? Well well...life is really difficult la...more so when I am always been alone in the journey with God...I know no one is permanent in life....but at least there is more than just this....Lord, please help me to align my thinking to You...I need you...really need you...
