Ystd had long chat with friend, pour out my heart and felt better, then chat w Dr friend, thank God for her, really worry of the growth over my wrist, and contemplating in my heart should I go all the way to Tenom...after hearing from her, I decided not to go. The word cyst is very scary, both mom and dad also cancer patient, and suddenly had this growth, was really worry, coz medical care is not accessible at village and the pain is hindering me in my daily activity. 
From wrist pain, to shoulder and then developing of the growth, it's no joke la for a non medical person like me...anyway, pray all would be as diagnosed by my friend, then I'll be well to recovery, just that I don't like taking painkiller, but no choice la...better try and pray it's really nothing major that just a normal cyst.
I pray today I'll have a fruitful day, meeting new ppl and talk to them, and pray Gods spirit will be on me that I would be sensitive to His leading to talk to right person, to those who needed words for season. Been reading the book Unshockable Love and also battle in prayer...if only we could hear Him well, we are going to be great minister for Him. I have been dwelling in my issues and at times just don't have heart to do anything else but am constantly fighting it, at times really feel im faking it out, deep inside me is troubled, but still reaching out to ppl, but God reminded me...it's sign of maturity, Jesus felt such troubles within His spirit, yet, He did not avoid talking and ministering to His disciples. He is still taking the last supper with them, never sharing His heart burden, but still imparting wisdom. I know God is and will always be good to me, regardless of the circumstances. Just pray I'll discern well what's next and be led by Him. This 4 months really teach me a lot, what it takes to reach out, what it takes to really die to self...sth which is unattainable by human strength...Lord, that I'll always dwell in Your presence....You are a good good God.
I pray tomorrow evening I am able to go back to the village...and tonight I will sleep well, ystd I was surrounded by orchestra of mozzie, so can't really sleep, I was wide awake all the time, praise God I'm not like zombie now, still ok though abit tired..all things work together for good, I just have to trust and trust and continue to trust.
I know more to come, but each day I must be stronger, not my own strength but His..
My sleepy look :)
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