Just finished my sharing w PMM and back home to rest. It had been quite a hectic week for me, due to changes in schedule...each time I went online is to catch up on mission trips arrangement and also on planning of trip to sibu for a seminar, yet time seems to be quite tight though it seems like I should be having a lot time here.
Been a month plus here, yet it just seems like yesterday. Reading my blogs here, seems things are rosy and sweet and I'm really having time of my life here, but of course I have my down time too, esp missing home and also my loves one, and the food 😅 not really a very particular food person but I'm cautious of my nutrient here, there are times I would feel weak, not sure it's psychology or it's really lack of food nutrient, esp I'm also doing my 40 days fast praying for the nation. Don't know what's going on to the nation now coz have not follow news for some time..but just felt the urge to follow through the fast coz the last round it was more of personal needs, this time I should be focusing myself as watchman for nation, esp I'm high up the mountain.
Come back to the downs...not really that down but most of the times its when the power and wonder workings of His is so evident in my life...when I felt the passion to teach go low, God would somehow reignite that. When I saw how keen the Ibu wanna learn of Gods word, I felt so honored that God chose me for this work..and when I see them smiling at my class, my heart would be leaping w joy.
My itinerary now is 7am- 10am every Tues n Thurs for adult express class and 8am-10am every Mon, Wed and Friday for slower one. At noontime, normally its 2-4pm for children tuition, monday & thurs - Std 6, tues- std 3&4, wed- std 1,2,5 and Friday is bible story time. Most of the time they came as and when they think it's time coz no watch, so normally I'll end up teaching 2.30pm to 5pm or more. So after that I'll go school to online and charge my phone or laptop and hang there till the sun came down.
I guess Gods work is so evident here coz I really depended on Him a lot. Many times, when I needed space of my own, the kids would not come to stay w me, and out of nowhere, when they are here, even though I feel inconvenient, I would still have activity with them and ideas just came. It's just like my time here is practically for them, so far I have not say no to them :) but God knows all my timings. This whole week I had been sleeping early coz woke up early. I did not have the luxury to wake up late coz need to teach, so at times I missed my quiet time, after long day, when all settled, I would be reading and praying in the dark w little lamp...though at times don't feel like it, I know I have to, coz sometimes I just feel the oppression is so strong, there are times when I'm so down that I do things by obligation, for the reason that I have to do it coz I am here, but God always turn it for good. That I would see myself growing in Him, seeing his power so evident in me, not of my own self but Him.
Even this few days while I was preparing sharing w youth and Ibu, my mind is really blank, somehow when I started to still my heart, ideas just came, even this morning, I believe many people are praying for me, I started dunno what to do coz it's only 5 youth, and all on stage, so I was the only audience, nevertheless, I kept confessing in my heart that it's not me, but all of God. And then when the time for me to share, i startled abit, where should I start, coz what I prepared was just ayat alkitab and Nic video, but somehow...ideas...kehidupan- what is kehidupan to them? I really believe with all my heart that it is God. And somehow we just flow..and it's not boring and they listened and response attentively...i do not know how much it really got into their mind but I believed I'd encouraged them much..and I pray God would stir in their heart to do something...
Throughout my stay here, if there is one thing to learn, it is the quietness and stillness in the Lord. Despite the quietness in village, I can still be busied over many things, esp clean up the house..now I really try to surrender and give it to the Lord. There are holes everywhere, so it's practically impossible to keep the place clean...so I ended up just sweeping only when it's dirty. I realized, I'm really such a Martha...work work and work...even cooking would took me quite a long time and to clean up, by time done I have to rush for kids tuition...and da da da...so now I have to tell myself, hold it hold it....what does the Lord requires U to do...quietness in Him, so now am trying...hihi, trying to spend more time...and my spiritual food every now and then are my podcast from phone and also sermons which are on my laptop.
I'm really thankful, for friends who really cares and keep me in prayer, I believe you know who you are when you read this...for friends that prayed, thank you so much, it really mean so much to me. I know I'm here well because u guys are committed to pray for me...
Will be going back to KK and join another mission team to kota marudu in a week time...Lord, help me to keep the house clean, so when I come back I don't have to sweat once more time to do all the house cleaning 😅
Thank You Jesus, you have always been the source of my strength and shield. Lead me Lord to place you want me to go, let me be Your intention...
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