Ystd night I had a terrible nightmare, woke up crying before the Lord. My heart just felt such sense of heaviness that I felt I needed someone to talk to...but who? Well, when internet access is so inaccessible, God is the source of help. I cried out to the Lord to show my why..well, in the end I still don't understand but I kept myself focus and prepare the message that I'm going to share in church, in case suddenly they requested so...I shifted my mind back to what I wanted to share and put it into points in BM...and felt such relieved once I'm done, then I have my sunday sch ready too coz I am teaching them every week..well, true enough today I was requested to preach...since I'm ready I told the leaders im ok, but just sharing and not preaching per say...
So there I was...sharing life story and how I ended up here with them, and halfway through I just wept...just can't control my emotion when I mentioned of goodness of God to my life, throughout my stay here..I was often asked this question, "Siapa kawan cikgu?", and at times I just felt they are so pitiful of me..but through it all...God have never a moment left me...He has always be with me, even though I'm here alone, but I always feel the warmth of His embrace. Felt so paiseh that I make them cry too...
And I just felt God have given me such a timely message, that yesterday suddenly I ended up at 100days commemoration of an elderly who passed away. And I witnessed the ceremony in Murut way. Not a Christian event but a Muslim one, anyway, this morning suddenly just remembered message by Ps Marcus, the legacy of a man that passed away...so I actually shared on Jesus last word to us at Matt 28:19-20, the great commission. I pray that the people understand the heartbeat of God and not to remain complacent..
Have I not obeyed the voice of God but following my heart, I would ended up at school watsapping friends to chit chat..and the message won't come true and I would not be so prepared to share. I realize one thing, I have to really surrender and let God in...not just with mouth, but really with all I am...
I came back from church and I started to work on message for the youth. Am really so excited that I forgotten to cook, until a Ibu came and pass me curry chicken and asked me whether have I cooked? I'm so blessed, just few days ago I prayed for meat, haha...well, coz there is no electricity here and transportation is very inconvenience, therefore my source of meat is just sardine, and earlier on when I just arrived there are wild boar given by the villagers, somehow it had been quite sometime since I last ate any meat, so sort of crave for it...a friend encouraged me to pray and God will answer, wow, amazingly He supplies...the teacher had their last day at sch before the holiday break celebrating birthday for the kids, so happen I passed by sch and was fed kambing and chicken wing and satay...and in my heart I am thanking the Lord for answering my prayer...and this is not the first time He answer...many times, when I felt like I wanna eat sth, He always provides, and today I had my curry chicken, PTL!!!
You may think I'm so pathetic here, but totally no! I see the providence of God each day, day by day He strengthen me..always giving me new ideas to teach and interact w kids..but guess on adult part, I need to make it more interesting...
Oh ya, suddenly I had this idea of letting the youth do chicken farming to get eggs. Felt the ppl here are quite deprived nutritionally..not sure it's of the Lord...so you who are reading this, please keep me in prayer, I have no idea how to go about it, pray for wisdom of God and confirmation that it's of the Lord, then I can carry it out confidently...
If u have any idea to contribute, do let me know too :)
Been few days did not blog, am slowly finding time to read His words and be connected to Him rather than with my phone :) im really thankful for friends who support me in prayer and friends who gave...I really really see the hand of God in what I'm doing here, despite the anxiousness at the beginning coz doesn't know what's there for me and what to expect..am looking forward to go down KK in 2 weeks time and have good fellowship w the KL team and then back home, and then coming back here again with much more preparation now :) praise Him for all the things that He is doing and going to do...am really looking forward :)
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