23 July 2019

Just felt quite burden this morning, Lord help me....
Ystd went out with a girl, trying to help her in her struggles but I did not manage to get her to talk much, but i was sharing more of my experience, I showed her my pinky,sharing how
I tried to take my life previously and some of my life stories with her. Seeing her, it was as if I am seeing myself, rejected and abandonment spirit so strong, that everything I do I don't need to depend on people but all I need is just God. Seeing her it was as if I was looking back my life and I'm thankful how God ministered to me, how I never gave up seeking and asking Him to help me in my struggles.
My heart ache, even as I pray for her, could feel that helplessness in her and how she's crying for attention and love. Lord, grant me the strength to love and disciple the kids here, give me discernment if there are things I needed to know but the kids are hiding from me, most important is that their faith will be roooted in You Abba.
Life indeed is a journey, Lord lead me to where you want me to be, crucify every fleshy desire that's not of You Lord....

Amazing Grace, indeed... How Faithful is He

After a busy day...cooking and tapau to school for 45 kids, on the way back to hostel, I got a surprise, really surprise beyond I can imagine...

Last Saturday a lady whom I knew from a youth camp called me up and told me that she has a Korea mission team wanting to visit student hostel and she thought of me. She asked me what I needed for the hostel, ie groceries, etc... But I told her we are bless here with our sponsor frm. KL. I got abit bolder to ask for education funds, if they are willing. I never expect that they would agree coz my F5 and F6 will only get their placement nx year and funds will be channel to the needy by then
They agree to sponsor 5 of my girls, and I'm so so glad that today, even the F4 kids who is potential will be helped too coz their giving is for 2 years.

I'd been praying about this education funds and seeing the needs for it for some time. How Abba granted this to me without me asking and kept knocking on it, indeed He is good. This yr I managed to collect quite a good amount too frm my personal friend as a start, and I was thinking to myself, I can't be asking my friends every year coz they will be scared of me, anyway I took one day a time, as long as this yr I'd helped the school leavers, nx year batch God will definitely provide again, and true enough... Oh I am so so so bless. He is such a great great God.
Today too, I didn't know I have to cook for so many ppl but Abba knew, of all days my friend decided to come this week. He really knows all my needs without fail, He failed not. Oh what a journey, of His love, His assurance, His Faithfulness in my life. Thank You Abba 😘😘😘😘

Pressing on....

NEW STRENGTH FOR TODAY

Day:Tuesday Date:09.07.2019

Text: Isaiah 43:18 NKJV

Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old.

Life has no reverse or pause button. it is vital not to look back but look forward.

Prayer: Lord, teach me to number my days and live with Your future in mind for there is no reverse or pause button in life. 

●Psalms 144:4 NKJV

Man is like a breath; His days are like a passing shadow.

Life is too short to waste on things that don't matter. So, don’t dwell on yesterday’s. 

Let God bring lasting change to you for His glory by looking forward. Do not take life for granted. 

●Psalms 90:12 NKJV

So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Time is not renewable. You can’t replenish it. Redeem time by prioritizing and touching as many people as you can. 

🔴THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: 

Today is the youngest you will ever be and the oldest you have ever been.

8.7.2019 - Grateful heart

Weekend usually should be the most relax day but for me it's normally paling busy tome of the week where I'll try to do activities with them, help whoever needed help in their studies, marketing etc.

Ystd after the Korean team left, I forced myself to have family meeting w the girls and make all necessary announcement and then slept at 6plus evening till 5am. Should have more than enough sleep but when I woke up my head was so painful 😭 oh Lord, I just wish that this thorn in flesh be removed. Its now became a monthly affairs that my migraine hit me

Woke up still and had my prayer with the girls as usual and I thought just went back to sleep, thank God I din

I choose to talk with the girls, make them do some chores and I realised, my head not that pain anymore. Praise God, I realised sometimes yea, the happy pills are time I spend w the girls and heart that's joyful indeed a great medicine. Now I'm back to normal, but needed to slow down abit

Thank God for a helper later in evening, my friend coming to stay w me a week, and just at a very right timing where my projek masak utk 45 kids is happening again tomorrow 🤣🤣🤣

Just now I went thru my iPhone WhatsApp msg, and I'm so glad to see kids msg to her dad, one that she resented, because of many family issue. I counselled and pray 4 reconciliation, visitors came and share also. On forgiveness and love and I believe she had open up her heart to her dad again, at least now she can say thank you pak for the barang her dad bring to her... I'm forever grateful for the work of the Holy Spirit in this place, Daddy, please help me to overcome my health challenge... Nothing is too great that You cannot do it, give me strength to be able to give thanks despite my situation Lord 😘

Help me to always submit to You and be humble to learn frm you continously. I'm looking forward to trip to Miri... Planned so many things but all tak jadi, and believing that trip to Miri would be great as its not intended but You made it possible. Tq Abba

Love you Jesus, my lover of my soul, my best friend and my helper in times of need. 

• #eternallygrateful#

Thank You Abba for solid friendship

Just went out 4 brekkie 4 my F6 classmate

It was an unplanned thingy and she is willing to come all da way frm serdang to meet me, so paiseh for me to reject. Had good time with her

26 June 2019, 9.30 am
Hmm....the above message was truncated since 5 June 19 :) Busyness in life...takes all of me...that I always have to tell myself to pace down and rest...

Yesterday was really an overwhelming day...woke up 5am...have my time alone, then prayer with all the girls...and then start preparing to cook for my girls. That was my first time ever in life cooking for 46 students and I kind of dread it coz it was their mistake not telling me that all have to go school at the same time, leaving no one to prepare lunch for them. I can in a form of strike, dont do anything, let them come back hungry and cook their own meal...but guess that is not how I am wired....full of love and compassion....as usual...though mouth cakap tak mau...I will still do it...so prepare all ingredients that I can...and then I felt I should take a nap...so went into room and rest, in less than 15 mins...warden next door call and said someone wanna see me....so up I go...and driver passed dress for my girls...which he suppose to send to sch but he sent it to hostel...and knowing my girls been waiting for the dress for their hari guru n raya cina, raya melayu....so...drove myself to their sch and pass them their dress...came back..it was already 9 plus....and there I am....start to cut my vege and preparing to cook....finished cooking, thought now I can take rest...warden wife call me...to go lunch with her....so...again....i went out...haha.....thats the consequences of not being able to say no...but its ok...coz I always enjoyed the fellowship with her and pray she will rise to the occassion to be a good warden's wife and support much as she can ...

Came back...was abit upset...hostel is quite messy, and I had a good lecture to the girls...and asked them to do their duty....then, slowly began to find out many are having boyfriends in school...and during the 4 days I was away, some girls broke rules, etc...was abit disappointed...its like one after another and I was dead tired...but one after another, I called into office for query and then even more disappointment to find out more...thats why I never wanted to probe the kids here unless they tell me truth, but coz I was away for many days, just wanna find out how they are doing here without me around...manatau...backfire...so many things I find out...perhaps it is a sign that Abba dont want me to be over confident over my girls. I am kind of proud of them...to me they are the best girls I ever had...so far things been fine...they are obedient and I can see many positive improvement...but...yea...young people...thats the challenges they face...yesterday, really so so tired...from 4pm to 10pm...counselling more than 10 girls...so so draining...

This morning woke up...the circle continue...but I was more calm...and God spoke sth into my heart....Lord...thank you for this revelation. Help me to do the best I can....seal them in your precious blood that no scheme of the enemy will be able to influence them...

Personally for me....really have grown so much....sometimes...I am amazed by my own calmness and not affected much by emotions anymore...still abit...but it takes lesser time to overcome it....and I am so thankful for Abba to send Pr Jeremiah last week to minister here...how He knows just the right timing. Also...how God had provided for my car break repair even before it broke down....God is really good. The Melaka team that came, a sister gave me offering of RM 500, and she emphasis it is for me....probably she knew thru pastor that the last time I receive the offering I actually given it away to the male warden & wife and a volunteer...like this time, somehow He know that I am going to need this money and she emphasis the money for me....so I kept that for myself....and wow....less than 1 week...haha...I needed RM 520 for the repair of car...and I am thankful He had preserved me....coz I could have lose control of car if it broke down totally while I was driving....I know for sure...the angels is taking care of me....

Many people are amazed at my boldness to step out and serve....but to me, anyone can be as me...all they needed is that first step and the rest...guarantee Abba will take care, and no one would be able to relate to my experience, except myself...the journey is great....but sometimes can be very lonely...coz no one can identify with me...many ppl said...oh Celina you are doing great job...my standard answer it is all Him and do please pray for me and my ministry here....but I wonder how many really take that seriously and carry the mantle of prayer for me....not to judge....but it is normal, even myself...sometimes I said I pray for you...but do I really take time to feel how they feel...so many are guilty of that....I thank God for Pr Goh and my papa....without them, I guess I wont be that strong....

Lord...continue to fan that zeal in my heart, in times of weariness...let me always lean back to You and never give up...Thank you Abba....for the grace and mercy you bestow into my life...i am forever grateful to you...Help my family to grow as well, esp my sis, in her family...bind them as a family and never allow enemy to sow seed of unforgiveness, for my koko and family...for their salvation...Abba...it has been such a long years...dont let me wait so long Abba.....let them have that special encounter with you...and for mommy...take care of her health and safety as she stay alone in the house...help me not to entertain the negative thoughts that I always take care of other people but neglect my own family....Help me Lord to rise above all situation and lead me to be where You want me to be Abba....TQ Jesus....the lover of my soul, my best friend, my all in all......

Reminder of that First Call....Oct 2013

It's Father's day this weekend, while many are celebrating, I am as well, celebrating God as my Abba, giving thanks to Him for bringing me a spiritual father despite those old days when I asked him to be my mentor and he told me he is not suitable as he is a man, but throughout these years, our relation just grew, with him being a catalyst for me to enter into full time ministry. These 3 years, He had given me a lady pastor whom I barely know to walk me through toughest time, and a spiritual dad whom I can look up too, what more can I ask?

My heart is so thankful, despite my health issue, despite all the negatives setback frm family, I had fought it all through and had a shift of mind, and I know the Lord is stretching me much, and I know I had progressed well, all because of His power that is at work in my life.... Lord, how thankful I am to You... My lover, my comforter, my all in all...my heart is full...
I still miss my papa, but I know he has a special place with Abba in heaven... I am thankful, He has taken good care of my mama that's alone at home in Penang...one thing I am still waiting Abba.... The day my koko and family will know You.... Lord, you have Your way in his family... Intervene Abba....
Life here in hostel is crazily hectic, I have so much things I wanna accomplish... I don't know how long this season going to be, but I know He has all the answer, I just need yo walk step by step guided in His love.
I came across my own testimony in my archives, I just wanna put it down, it was there in the serenity of Cambodia He spoke to me.... And I just wanna hold it dear in my life....

Led by His Spirit

Mission Trip to Cambodia 30^th Oct – 4^th Nov 2013.

I have been to mission trip few times in the past, normally just helping out here and there, but did not take any heavy responsibility. For this trip, it's no difference, I thought that I'll just go and help whatever I can, did not prepare much for this mission till the last week before we went, one sister have to pull out from the trip due to health issue, and me and another sister were put in charge of the children ministry. Then I started to do my best to prepare whatever I could, not knowing much about the condition at each villages. I was pretty much lack of sleep as every night I would be thinking and preparing for the trip as I'm the person who want things to be exactly as I planned.

The first day where I am supposed to teach, I am pretty nervous, when I reached the village, my mind went blank seeing so many children and we were at open field, whatever I prepared doesn't seems to be of much use, I whisper a prayer “God...it has to be You”...and whatever that comes to my mind, I just do it, and I'm really amaze by how His Spirit guides me and I'm having lots fun with the children. Subsequently, the next 2 session, I asked another sis to teach, and for the last day, I wanted her to lead too. I felt inadequate and I felt she did a better job than me, but somehow God reminded me of things He spoken to me before I came for the mission trip "rise up and take position". I obeyed and commit to Him for my last session. When I was at Baptist Church for the Sunday School, I was truly touched again that how the Holy Spirit guides and lead me. I can really feel his Spirit is leading me and there is so much joy in the heart, sing, play games and telling them about love of Jesus.

After Sunday School, I went for the Agape Church Sunday Service, during worship, I just couldn't contain my tears, He just minister deep in my heart that He is the God that will leads me, as long as I surrender. He reminded me again of what He has spoken to me when I was in Israel. Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me" for 3 times, and He commanded Peter to feed His lamb. I have been longing to reach out, but along the way, the passion died off as I feel I can’t do much as I don’t have much gift to offer.

In the evening, at Yang Meng ministry, during worship, I saw a vision of axe and iron and the word chisel came to my mind. I felt that God speaking to me that He is sharpening me, an axe which is rubbed against iron, sharpened it to chop woods, as long as I surrender this life to Him, He is going to use me. That was the impression I have. I tried to brush it off, thinking it is my emotions stirred for the moment.  Then Sis Yang Meng gave word of knowledge that some of us are called into mission, my heart pumped very fast, I was asking the Lord…it wouldn’t be me right? After the service, suddenly I look at the wall, and there is this drawing of axe, and I just tremble.

I had so much to digest in this mission trip, in one way of another, I felt like a puzzle which slowly form the picture of my life. I came without any expectation, but God have His way. I knew that mission have always been the desires of my heart, but am I called for that? Is it possible? Well, at least now I have really caught the vision and I know that He will prepare me, I just need to really surrender my all to Him and let Him take over.

Throughout the 8 days in Cambodia, I had the opportunity to hear from servants of God who is serving faithfully in Cambodia. How my heart aches to hear some of their struggles, yet impressed by how our God that faithfully provides. I extended 2 days to stay with a Malaysian pastor who gave herself to serve in Cambodia for the past 8 years. My reason is purely to catch up, but never did I know that God is really doing a surgery in my heart. With so much time on my own and with no internet connection, I am connected to the Lord most of the times J I just felt He is healing me and I began to understand why certain events took place in my life. There is this assurance that nothing is in vain. Whatever brokenness and pain I had been through, it will be used for His glory. I really came back feeling so refreshed.

There are so much take home message from the mission trip and so much more to share. The harvest is plentiful, but workers are few. I pray that more people would respond to His call into the harvest field.

  

In Him,

Celina Moy

梅谨君

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Inner Peace - first blog for 2019

2015 to 2016, then 2017, then now 2019....God must have purpose for me to revisit back my blog, to encourage myself and to look back at His faithfulness in my life...

Sitting at clinic now, my heart goes for the people here. I realise yea, basically it is human nature, one that have bias and preconception for the treatment they give to one another. If I wasn't here with the student, will the doctor really have a thorough check for her? And seeing Dr playing FB while outside there are numbers of patients....oh Lord, our world have become so different, human no longer work their best to satisfy their own conscience and fulfillment but work is merely a means to get paycheck at the end of the day. 

Can we change this system

What can I do about it? If I want, I can be a good complainer, write to kementerian, bla bla bla, but would it change the system here... Only pray God will move the heart of politician.

Almost 2 hours at clinic, hmm, later will be travelling to Ranau, really looking forward for the wedding. My leader in penang getting married...am glad, after 2 years in penang, they had grown and now another journey in life ...