My heart is so thankful, despite my health issue, despite all the negatives setback frm family, I had fought it all through and had a shift of mind, and I know the Lord is stretching me much, and I know I had progressed well, all because of His power that is at work in my life.... Lord, how thankful I am to You... My lover, my comforter, my all in all...my heart is full...
I still miss my papa, but I know he has a special place with Abba in heaven... I am thankful, He has taken good care of my mama that's alone at home in Penang...one thing I am still waiting Abba.... The day my koko and family will know You.... Lord, you have Your way in his family... Intervene Abba....
Life here in hostel is crazily hectic, I have so much things I wanna accomplish... I don't know how long this season going to be, but I know He has all the answer, I just need yo walk step by step guided in His love.
I came across my own testimony in my archives, I just wanna put it down, it was there in the serenity of Cambodia He spoke to me.... And I just wanna hold it dear in my life....
Led by His Spirit
Mission Trip to Cambodia 30th Oct – 4th
Nov 2013.
I have been to mission trip few
times in the past, normally just helping out here and there, but did not take
any heavy responsibility. For this trip, it's no difference, I thought that
I'll just go and help whatever I can, did not prepare much for this mission
till the last week before we went, one sister have to pull out from the trip
due to health issue, and me and another sister were put in charge of the
children ministry. Then I started to do my best to prepare whatever I could,
not knowing much about the condition at each villages. I was pretty much lack
of sleep as every night I would be thinking and preparing for the trip as I'm
the person who want things to be exactly as I planned.
The first day where I am supposed to
teach, I am pretty nervous, when I reached the village, my mind went blank
seeing so many children and we were at open field, whatever I prepared doesn't
seems to be of much use, I whisper a prayer “God...it has to be You”...and
whatever that comes to my mind, I just do it, and I'm really amaze by how His
Spirit guides me and I'm having lots fun with the children. Subsequently, the
next 2 session, I asked another sis to teach, and for the last day, I wanted
her to lead too. I felt inadequate and I felt she did a better job than me, but
somehow God reminded me of things He spoken to me before I came for the mission
trip "rise up and take position". I obeyed and commit to Him for my
last session. When I was at Baptist Church for the Sunday School, I was truly
touched again that how the Holy Spirit guides and lead me. I can really feel
his Spirit is leading me and there is so much joy in the heart, sing, play
games and telling them about love of Jesus.
After Sunday School, I went for the
Agape Church Sunday Service, during worship, I just couldn't contain my tears,
He just minister deep in my heart that He is the God that will leads me, as
long as I surrender. He reminded me again of what He has spoken to me when I
was in Israel. Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me" for 3 times, and
He commanded Peter to feed His lamb. I have been longing to reach out, but
along the way, the passion died off as I feel I can’t do much as I don’t have
much gift to offer.
In the
evening, at Yang Meng ministry, during worship, I saw a vision of axe and iron
and the word chisel came to my mind. I felt that God speaking to me that He is
sharpening me, an axe which is rubbed against iron, sharpened it to chop woods,
as long as I surrender this life to Him, He is going to use me. That was the
impression I have. I tried to brush it off, thinking it is my emotions stirred
for the moment. Then Sis Yang Meng gave
word of knowledge that some of us are called into mission, my heart pumped very
fast, I was asking the Lord…it wouldn’t be me right? After the service,
suddenly I look at the wall, and there is this drawing of axe, and I just
tremble.
I had so
much to digest in this mission trip, in one way of another, I felt like a
puzzle which slowly form the picture of my life. I came without any
expectation, but God have His way. I knew that mission have always been the
desires of my heart, but am I called for that? Is it possible? Well, at least
now I have really caught the vision and I know that He will prepare me, I just
need to really surrender my all to Him and let Him take over.
Throughout
the 8 days in Cambodia, I had the opportunity to hear from servants of God who
is serving faithfully in Cambodia. How my heart aches to hear some of their
struggles, yet impressed by how our God that faithfully provides. I extended 2
days to stay with a Malaysian pastor who gave herself to serve in Cambodia for
the past 8 years. My reason is purely to catch up, but never did I know that
God is really doing a surgery in my heart. With so much time on my own and with
no internet connection, I am connected to the Lord most of the times J I just
felt He is healing me and I began to understand why certain events took place
in my life. There is this assurance that nothing is in vain. Whatever brokenness
and pain I had been through, it will be used for His glory. I really came back
feeling so refreshed.
There are
so much take home message from the mission trip and so much more to share. The
harvest is plentiful, but workers are few. I pray that more people would
respond to His call into the harvest field.
In Him,
Celina Moy
梅谨君
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