Thank You Abba for solid friendship

Just went out 4 brekkie 4 my F6 classmate

It was an unplanned thingy and she is willing to come all da way frm serdang to meet me, so paiseh for me to reject. Had good time with her

26 June 2019, 9.30 am
Hmm....the above message was truncated since 5 June 19 :) Busyness in life...takes all of me...that I always have to tell myself to pace down and rest...

Yesterday was really an overwhelming day...woke up 5am...have my time alone, then prayer with all the girls...and then start preparing to cook for my girls. That was my first time ever in life cooking for 46 students and I kind of dread it coz it was their mistake not telling me that all have to go school at the same time, leaving no one to prepare lunch for them. I can in a form of strike, dont do anything, let them come back hungry and cook their own meal...but guess that is not how I am wired....full of love and compassion....as usual...though mouth cakap tak mau...I will still do it...so prepare all ingredients that I can...and then I felt I should take a nap...so went into room and rest, in less than 15 mins...warden next door call and said someone wanna see me....so up I go...and driver passed dress for my girls...which he suppose to send to sch but he sent it to hostel...and knowing my girls been waiting for the dress for their hari guru n raya cina, raya melayu....so...drove myself to their sch and pass them their dress...came back..it was already 9 plus....and there I am....start to cut my vege and preparing to cook....finished cooking, thought now I can take rest...warden wife call me...to go lunch with her....so...again....i went out...haha.....thats the consequences of not being able to say no...but its ok...coz I always enjoyed the fellowship with her and pray she will rise to the occassion to be a good warden's wife and support much as she can ...

Came back...was abit upset...hostel is quite messy, and I had a good lecture to the girls...and asked them to do their duty....then, slowly began to find out many are having boyfriends in school...and during the 4 days I was away, some girls broke rules, etc...was abit disappointed...its like one after another and I was dead tired...but one after another, I called into office for query and then even more disappointment to find out more...thats why I never wanted to probe the kids here unless they tell me truth, but coz I was away for many days, just wanna find out how they are doing here without me around...manatau...backfire...so many things I find out...perhaps it is a sign that Abba dont want me to be over confident over my girls. I am kind of proud of them...to me they are the best girls I ever had...so far things been fine...they are obedient and I can see many positive improvement...but...yea...young people...thats the challenges they face...yesterday, really so so tired...from 4pm to 10pm...counselling more than 10 girls...so so draining...

This morning woke up...the circle continue...but I was more calm...and God spoke sth into my heart....Lord...thank you for this revelation. Help me to do the best I can....seal them in your precious blood that no scheme of the enemy will be able to influence them...

Personally for me....really have grown so much....sometimes...I am amazed by my own calmness and not affected much by emotions anymore...still abit...but it takes lesser time to overcome it....and I am so thankful for Abba to send Pr Jeremiah last week to minister here...how He knows just the right timing. Also...how God had provided for my car break repair even before it broke down....God is really good. The Melaka team that came, a sister gave me offering of RM 500, and she emphasis it is for me....probably she knew thru pastor that the last time I receive the offering I actually given it away to the male warden & wife and a volunteer...like this time, somehow He know that I am going to need this money and she emphasis the money for me....so I kept that for myself....and wow....less than 1 week...haha...I needed RM 520 for the repair of car...and I am thankful He had preserved me....coz I could have lose control of car if it broke down totally while I was driving....I know for sure...the angels is taking care of me....

Many people are amazed at my boldness to step out and serve....but to me, anyone can be as me...all they needed is that first step and the rest...guarantee Abba will take care, and no one would be able to relate to my experience, except myself...the journey is great....but sometimes can be very lonely...coz no one can identify with me...many ppl said...oh Celina you are doing great job...my standard answer it is all Him and do please pray for me and my ministry here....but I wonder how many really take that seriously and carry the mantle of prayer for me....not to judge....but it is normal, even myself...sometimes I said I pray for you...but do I really take time to feel how they feel...so many are guilty of that....I thank God for Pr Goh and my papa....without them, I guess I wont be that strong....

Lord...continue to fan that zeal in my heart, in times of weariness...let me always lean back to You and never give up...Thank you Abba....for the grace and mercy you bestow into my life...i am forever grateful to you...Help my family to grow as well, esp my sis, in her family...bind them as a family and never allow enemy to sow seed of unforgiveness, for my koko and family...for their salvation...Abba...it has been such a long years...dont let me wait so long Abba.....let them have that special encounter with you...and for mommy...take care of her health and safety as she stay alone in the house...help me not to entertain the negative thoughts that I always take care of other people but neglect my own family....Help me Lord to rise above all situation and lead me to be where You want me to be Abba....TQ Jesus....the lover of my soul, my best friend, my all in all......

Reminder of that First Call....Oct 2013

It's Father's day this weekend, while many are celebrating, I am as well, celebrating God as my Abba, giving thanks to Him for bringing me a spiritual father despite those old days when I asked him to be my mentor and he told me he is not suitable as he is a man, but throughout these years, our relation just grew, with him being a catalyst for me to enter into full time ministry. These 3 years, He had given me a lady pastor whom I barely know to walk me through toughest time, and a spiritual dad whom I can look up too, what more can I ask?

My heart is so thankful, despite my health issue, despite all the negatives setback frm family, I had fought it all through and had a shift of mind, and I know the Lord is stretching me much, and I know I had progressed well, all because of His power that is at work in my life.... Lord, how thankful I am to You... My lover, my comforter, my all in all...my heart is full...
I still miss my papa, but I know he has a special place with Abba in heaven... I am thankful, He has taken good care of my mama that's alone at home in Penang...one thing I am still waiting Abba.... The day my koko and family will know You.... Lord, you have Your way in his family... Intervene Abba....
Life here in hostel is crazily hectic, I have so much things I wanna accomplish... I don't know how long this season going to be, but I know He has all the answer, I just need yo walk step by step guided in His love.
I came across my own testimony in my archives, I just wanna put it down, it was there in the serenity of Cambodia He spoke to me.... And I just wanna hold it dear in my life....

Led by His Spirit

Mission Trip to Cambodia 30^th Oct – 4^th Nov 2013.

I have been to mission trip few times in the past, normally just helping out here and there, but did not take any heavy responsibility. For this trip, it's no difference, I thought that I'll just go and help whatever I can, did not prepare much for this mission till the last week before we went, one sister have to pull out from the trip due to health issue, and me and another sister were put in charge of the children ministry. Then I started to do my best to prepare whatever I could, not knowing much about the condition at each villages. I was pretty much lack of sleep as every night I would be thinking and preparing for the trip as I'm the person who want things to be exactly as I planned.

The first day where I am supposed to teach, I am pretty nervous, when I reached the village, my mind went blank seeing so many children and we were at open field, whatever I prepared doesn't seems to be of much use, I whisper a prayer “God...it has to be You”...and whatever that comes to my mind, I just do it, and I'm really amaze by how His Spirit guides me and I'm having lots fun with the children. Subsequently, the next 2 session, I asked another sis to teach, and for the last day, I wanted her to lead too. I felt inadequate and I felt she did a better job than me, but somehow God reminded me of things He spoken to me before I came for the mission trip "rise up and take position". I obeyed and commit to Him for my last session. When I was at Baptist Church for the Sunday School, I was truly touched again that how the Holy Spirit guides and lead me. I can really feel his Spirit is leading me and there is so much joy in the heart, sing, play games and telling them about love of Jesus.

After Sunday School, I went for the Agape Church Sunday Service, during worship, I just couldn't contain my tears, He just minister deep in my heart that He is the God that will leads me, as long as I surrender. He reminded me again of what He has spoken to me when I was in Israel. Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me" for 3 times, and He commanded Peter to feed His lamb. I have been longing to reach out, but along the way, the passion died off as I feel I can’t do much as I don’t have much gift to offer.

In the evening, at Yang Meng ministry, during worship, I saw a vision of axe and iron and the word chisel came to my mind. I felt that God speaking to me that He is sharpening me, an axe which is rubbed against iron, sharpened it to chop woods, as long as I surrender this life to Him, He is going to use me. That was the impression I have. I tried to brush it off, thinking it is my emotions stirred for the moment.  Then Sis Yang Meng gave word of knowledge that some of us are called into mission, my heart pumped very fast, I was asking the Lord…it wouldn’t be me right? After the service, suddenly I look at the wall, and there is this drawing of axe, and I just tremble.

I had so much to digest in this mission trip, in one way of another, I felt like a puzzle which slowly form the picture of my life. I came without any expectation, but God have His way. I knew that mission have always been the desires of my heart, but am I called for that? Is it possible? Well, at least now I have really caught the vision and I know that He will prepare me, I just need to really surrender my all to Him and let Him take over.

Throughout the 8 days in Cambodia, I had the opportunity to hear from servants of God who is serving faithfully in Cambodia. How my heart aches to hear some of their struggles, yet impressed by how our God that faithfully provides. I extended 2 days to stay with a Malaysian pastor who gave herself to serve in Cambodia for the past 8 years. My reason is purely to catch up, but never did I know that God is really doing a surgery in my heart. With so much time on my own and with no internet connection, I am connected to the Lord most of the times J I just felt He is healing me and I began to understand why certain events took place in my life. There is this assurance that nothing is in vain. Whatever brokenness and pain I had been through, it will be used for His glory. I really came back feeling so refreshed.

There are so much take home message from the mission trip and so much more to share. The harvest is plentiful, but workers are few. I pray that more people would respond to His call into the harvest field.

  

In Him,

Celina Moy

梅谨君

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Inner Peace - first blog for 2019

2015 to 2016, then 2017, then now 2019....God must have purpose for me to revisit back my blog, to encourage myself and to look back at His faithfulness in my life...

Sitting at clinic now, my heart goes for the people here. I realise yea, basically it is human nature, one that have bias and preconception for the treatment they give to one another. If I wasn't here with the student, will the doctor really have a thorough check for her? And seeing Dr playing FB while outside there are numbers of patients....oh Lord, our world have become so different, human no longer work their best to satisfy their own conscience and fulfillment but work is merely a means to get paycheck at the end of the day. 

Can we change this system

What can I do about it? If I want, I can be a good complainer, write to kementerian, bla bla bla, but would it change the system here... Only pray God will move the heart of politician.

Almost 2 hours at clinic, hmm, later will be travelling to Ranau, really looking forward for the wedding. My leader in penang getting married...am glad, after 2 years in penang, they had grown and now another journey in life ... 

12 March 2017 - Mission Week

Been some time I had not blog, again, heart is full of thanksgiving, each time God never fail to touch this fragile heart of mine. Again, and again and again, I'm growing and God break me in many ways, in the end I came out pure as gold. I can never express how thankful and grateful my heart is towards the work of the Lord in my heart, sometimes it was painful, sometimes it was full of joy, sometimes immune to things happened around me, regardless of what it is, and was, one thing always remains - His everlasting love for me, no matter how people misunderstand me, God never. 

This month was really such a crazy month with SURF weekend, mission weekend, hosting of Pastor Daniel Ho and my own mission trip which is another 4 more days. And God gave me such extraordinary strength and joy that this time round I wasn't been burdened nor stressed about this, but just with joy do whatever I could in my stretched capacity, and I know I just had a changed

of heart, how God dealt with my heart, towards colleagues, church, pastor, mom, and I just felt my life again took another turn of victory. My heart is so soft, each time I see a little growth, a little improvement, a little changes in Summit, in the way I see myself changed, I am always moved to tears, how faithful God is. My greatest joy, how God had answered my prayer, my leaders are growing, taking more responsibilities and many of the boys are in Penang now are having a male figure to guide them. All these, I guess no one would experience it any better than myself coz I pioneered Stradford works, from zero to something, and really, I am not prideful, but I am boasting in the Lord that yes, it is Him that enable me.

Such a joy each time I see them. I know I'm so at the right place, to train and love them as how God loves them. And I know the next journey going to be exciting with Penang campus students. It's another level of challenge, but I am confident the God who started this work, He will help me into completion. My heart just cried...not because I was sad, but to see how much I can do with the Lord walking side by side with me. This is something so personal, which I guess no one would be able to comprehend, because Abba walked with me. I'm so so grateful, all my labor is not in vain, Lord I pray it would not remains like that, but Lord, increase the passion in these students, let them have the personal encounter with You, with Your words. 

I can imagine, I am so moved by compassion, our loving Father, I'm so sure when He looks to these children...He is also so pleased with them, all are His beloved. 

Thank You Jesus !!! 

Bring me to higher level with You Lord!!!

Love, 

Your beloved daughter, Celina

So Resound in Me....14.2.17

Hillary Scott - Thy Will Lyrics

From the album Love Remains

I'm so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here

I don't wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you're good
But this don't feel good right now 
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about

It's hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you're God
And I am not
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store

I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

Like a child on my knees
All that comes to me is 
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you see me 
I know you hear me, Lord

18.1.17

After 10 months working, I had my first MC besides when I was hospitalized. Same old thing again, head pain. Lord, when is this thorn in my flesh will be removed? I wanted to do so much things but I am restricted with my health. Are you asking me to take rest again and step down in ministry? How to slow down the pace? I don't know Lord, I just couldn't fold my arm and do nothing. Are you saying that I should just pray and see thing fall into places? I don't know Lord...You knew my heart wanted to reach out to so many ppl, I wanted to share if Your goodness and faithfulness but I'm stumbled in this pain. My mom relate the pain to ministry, everyone think I'm stress..worst still Doctor think I am having depression that I have to be on anti depressants. What is it Lord? Am I not happy with life? Am I not living a fulfilling life? Or was it some stronghold in life that I need to deal with? Haizzzz...really feel I'm not living a testimony. Perhaps I put too much expectation on myself....Lord, help me. No one can understand me except you..and I'll continue to trust in You Lord. Teach me Abba...

13 January 2017

First post for year 2017.

Been so occupy with so many things. So much things to write about but without consistency. Came across this devotion and just feel it's very relevant, so nothing much to share, just look forward, for what the Lord have for me in 2017. 

Devotion : 

Pippa and I enjoy doing crosswords together. When we are stuck on one clue we don’t give up, we move on to the next clue. Every time we find an answer it helps us in resolving some of the other clues. In the end, we are sometimes able to solve most of the puzzle (although rarely all of it!)

In a way, reading some of the difficult parts of the Bible is like trying to solve a crossword puzzle. Rather than getting bogged down in a tricky section, you can use the passages you do understand to help you resolve some of the more difficult ones.

Often I find it hard not only to understand some of the difficult passages in the Bible, but also to understand why certain things are happening in our world. There seems to be so much injustice. There are no easy answers.

I love the second great rhetorical question from yesterday’s passage, ‘Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?’ (Genesis 18:25).

One thing that you can be sure about is that on the last day, when all is revealed, you will see God’s perfect judgment – and everyone will say, ‘That is absolutely right.’ Each of today’s passages tells us something about the fact that, in the end, God will put things right.

1. Trust that there will be a just judgment

Psalm 7:1-9

Some people might think that belief in a God who judges would lead to more violence in the world today. In fact, it is the opposite. When people stop believing in God’s just judgment, they may be tempted to take it into their own hands and seek revenge against their enemies.

David trusted that there will be a judgment – that God will be the judge and he will judge justly. ‘My accusers have packed the courtroom; it’s judgment time. Take your place on the bench, reach for your gavel, throw out the false charges against me. I’m ready, confident in your verdict’ (vv.7–8, MSG). In other words, David trusted that God would deal with his enemies.

If you believe in a God who is going to execute judgment with perfect justice, then you can leave it in his hands and do what Jesus told you to do: love your enemies (see Matthew 5:43–48; Luke 6:27–36).

In fact, as Miroslav Volf put it, ‘The practice of non-violence requires a belief in divine vengeance.’ So many of the world’s problems today would be solved if people believed in the fact that there is a God who judges justly and that we can trust him to put things right in the end.

Lord, I take refuge in you (Psalm 7:1). Thank you that as I can be confident in your perfect judgment, I need never seek revenge but rather love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me (Matthew 5:44).

2. Trust in Jesus, to whom God has entrusted all judgment

Matthew 7:24-8:22

Jesus knew all about building houses. He was a craftsman by trade and had worked as a carpenter. The illustration he uses is down-to-earth and practical: two men who each decide to build a house (7:24–26). No doubt they intended to live in and enjoy them, perhaps with their families. Both were building something of long-lasting significance. Our lives are like these houses, yet their significance is for all eternity.

The most important feature of any house is its foundations. These houses differed little in appearance. But only one had ‘its foundation on the rock’ (v.25). Similarly, two lives can look alike, but the difference in the foundations is evident when, inevitably, the storms of life come.

You will face challenges in life. They will come in many forms: misunderstandings, disappointments, unfulfilled longings, doubts, trials, temptations, setbacks and satanic attacks. Success, too, can be a test. There is also pressure, suffering, sickness, bereavement, sorrow, trauma, tragedy, persecution and failure.

Ultimately, all of us will face death and God’s judgment. The image of ‘rain... torrents... winds’ is used in Ezekiel to refer to God’s judgment (Ezekiel 13:11), but the language of judgment is not confined to the Old Testament. Here, and elsewhere, Jesus warns of the coming judgment, as do the other New Testament writers.

When ‘the rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house’ (Matthew 7:25,27), the house built on the rock ‘did not fall’ (v.25), but the one built on the sand ‘fell with a great crash’ (v.27). These are solemn words of warning. The trial may be during this life or it may come on the day of judgment. What is certain, according to Jesus, is that it will come.

However, you need not live in fear. It is not easy, but there is a way to be sure that, when the foundations of your house are tested, they stand firm. It is possible to know that your future is secure.

Jesus tells us that the key difference is that the wise man not only hears the words of Jesus, but he also ‘puts them into practice’ (v.24). The foolish man, on the other hand, although he hears Jesus’ words ‘does not put them into practice’ (v.26).

Knowledge must lead to action – our theology must affect our lives or else we are building our lives on sand.

The words of Jesus are, first of all, a call to believe in him (John 6:28–29). Our salvation is by faith in Jesus, lived out in obedience.

You can have absolute confidence in Jesus’ judgment, because he has the authority of God himself. Jesus was amazed at the centurion’s faith in him. He said, ‘Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith’ (Matthew 8:10).

The evidence for this faith came because the centurion believed that Jesus’ word alone was sufficient to heal his servant (v.8). His rationale for believing this is profound. The centurion recognised that, as in the army, authority comes from being under authority – so Jesus’ authority comes from being under the authority of his Father. The centurion saw that when Jesus spoke, God spoke.

Furthermore, this perfect Judge is not aloof from human suffering. We know Jesus experienced injustice, imprisonment, torture and crucifixion. But in this passage we see that he also experienced sickness (on our behalf, v.17) and even homelessness (v.20). There is little in human suffering that Jesus himself did not experience.

Father, thank you that not only is Jesus able to sympathise with my weaknesses, but he also died for my sins bearing the judgment for me so that I need not be afraid.

3. Trust that, in the end, the Judge of all the earth will do right

Genesis 19:1-20:18

Yesterday, we saw how Abraham pleaded for Sodom and Gomorrah. We do not know exactly what their sin was, but, ‘the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous”’ (18:20).

It appears from today’s passage that their sin included a horrific culture of group rape (19:3,5). We read in Ezekiel 16 that their sins also included being ‘arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy’ (Ezekiel 16:49). This could be a description of our own society in the West.

God says that if there had been ten righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah he would have spared it for their sake: ‘For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it’ (Genesis 18:32). He gave every opportunity for the only ‘righteous’ people to leave. When Lot hesitated, the angels ‘grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful to them’ (19:16).

The judgment on Lot’s wife seems very severe (v.26). Whatever the reasons for it (and I am not confident I know the answer) it certainly stands as an example. Jesus said, ‘Remember Lot’s wife!’ (Luke 17:32). We are not to look back. If we have left a life of sin, then we must not turn back to it. They were told, ‘Flee for your lives!’ (Genesis 19:17). In the same way, we are told to flee from evil desires (2 Timothy 2:22).

Even Abraham was not without sin. Indeed, he repeated the same sin over again – trying to pass off Sarah as his sister and almost causing her to commit adultery. The message of the Bible is that not only does God save sinners, he also uses sinners. He blessed Abraham and answered his prayer (Genesis 20:7). God uses us despite our sin because he is merciful and God, in Jesus, has taken the judgment upon himself.

Lord, thank you so much for the difference the cross of Christ makes to the day of judgment. Thank you that I can be confident that, in the end, the Judge of all the earth will do right.

Pippa Adds

Matthew 8:6

‘“Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralysed, suffering terribly.”’

The centurion cared not just for his family and friends, but also for someone who worked for him. Even though the centurion was an outsider and not part of the ‘religious’ community, he sought after Jesus for his servant. Faith can be found in all sorts of unexpected places.

Verse of the Day

‘Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.’ (Matthew 7:24)

Lord, I am building your house and kingdom, I don't desire much earthly things, but now Lord I ask of you for a house of my own, where I can use it for student ministry, I can accomodate whoever I wanted to without having to concern of how my mom will feel, or how my sis will see me...everything is temporal, but your love remains....

Help me love myself more, restore my health Lord...and let me soar with You high...