18 Sept 2016 Welcoming Lunch @ EPCC Summit

5pm

I am abit tired now, woke up 5am, don't know what's troubling me, but as usual, when I woke up early without any reason I knew it is the time the Lord wants me to pray, lazily I got up and read the scripture. Praying for the welcoming lunch sharing and all to go well. Early in the morning got message to ask me bring new visitor materials for the church as it was depleted, I was quite upset, why the last minute? But thank God, reluctantly I went back office at 815am, opened office door, not knowing where is all the barang and looking for it high and low, anyway, managed to bring it and reached church late, but coz it was raining so heavily, service haven't start, and praise God I was still on time anyway.

Today when Joe was sharing testimony, I was so encouraged, never knew the time when I brought him out to eat last few months ago, that's when he only have one meal in the morning till 1030pm when I brought them to supper after cell group. Again, I am always answered prayer to others, and now God is the one always meeting my needs. Last 2 days I was planning to buy rice to all the 3 hostels, just in my thought, Abba, who are you going to supply now? And ystd a student told me she wanna give, 14 packs of 5kg rice, for a student working in a sundry shop to earn her tuition fees, that's a lot but because God placed on her the burden when I brought them all out last Friday, she caught the vision to ministry to her own anak Sabah, how wonderful is my God. He is never too late! 

Here comes the beras

Small myvi boot w 14 packs of 5kg rice across the bridge :)

Just a one time meeting and this beautiful girl catch the burden. PTL!

How do u put 10 ppl in this paper, this creative kids came out w this idea. Haha

Finally after a long day, went out makan w these new kids on the college, ah Moy cina dgn baju kurung bawa 4 org yg nampak macam Muslim pergi makan Babi and I became center of attention, ppl looked at my baju first, then my face, that's what my student told me 😛

So much accomplished today, and I just can't help but want this to be a reminder again of Gods faithfulness to me.

I'm now in contact w a used-to-be-editor for my book writing, not sure this will be accomplished, well, pray God will make it a reality, not for my own glory but for His.

I wrote better than I speak, but I pray God will sharpen me to speak forth His words with confident. Am all right sharing my testimony and word of God, but when come to being a MC and meetings on big big group I would just lost my words..I'm still work in progress.

And the joy of the Lord will always be my strength! 

8pm - another event of Gods faithfulness. How great is our God...

Trials after Trials...still standing strong

13 Sept 2016 - 4.10 pm 

Time for some reflections and while studying the book of Samuel, stumble upon King Saul life...and these past months been really challenging, the more I am getting myself into ministry the more opposition I face, but guess through it all...He is still with me, and being an iron lady, still am going strong...

Had great time with my nephews last 2 days, despite they are not well, and despite of my packed schedules, I still could make time for many things. I pray God will continue to grant me this kind of energy up till the time I go to meet Him. Missing my dad alot...10 more days it would be his 13 years of going home...at times I wonder, how would it be if he is still around...anyway, no point to wonder coz its not going to happen. Having quite heavy burden over mom for past weeks, she have not been well, admitted last week, and today she was vomiting and having diarrhea pula...and I was super tied with students work and the campus camp. Last week really kenot tahan that I just broke down in front of pastor, was shouldering so much things and I feel so lonely. I wish I could be more steady and consistent in my walk with Abba and not to be shaken...but guess God understand me, He has made me this way, a fragile heart...and today I learn something which I hope God will help me to have a elephant skin. Sometimes, I guess working in corporate world is so much simpler...everyone have KPI and everyone in the Dept just need to flow along and make sure KPI is achieved and together everyone will work as a team to get to that point. Execution doesnt seems to be that difficult, probably I have the authority there....but in a full time context...hmm...everyone will have their own ideas...and its again another phase of life...where I need to learn to have better EQ and grace...Lord, help me !

Yesterday also was quite a gloomy day....less than a year....so much things changed. Heart was again crushed...but guess this is the final one...I wish I could just speak to someone....but I know there is no point talking over it...today, this message minister to my heart...Let it go....Let it go....

Let It Go! – Part 2

September 10, 2016

“But some scoundrels said, ‘How can this fellow save us?’ They despised him and brought him no gifts. But Saul kept silent.” (1 Samuel 10:27 NIV)

In order to serve God and be used by him to become a leader in God’s house in any small or big way, you have to have two kinds of skin: You have to be tender like a baby toward God and toward the people to whom you’re ministering, but you have to have elephant skin when it comes to what the scoundrels are saying. There are many people who have a tenderness toward the Lord, but don’t know how to ignore people who are foolish. Thus, with any little mosquito that goes by, they get discouraged and want to quit. There are others, however, who only have elephant skin, and God can’t use them, because they have no sensitivity toward God or toward people’s needs.

So don’t concentrate on what “he said” or “she said.” If people attacked and maligned King Saul – not to mention the apostle Paul and Jesus himself – it can happen to us as well.

Saul was very wise, for he said nothing in response to the naysayers. He’s going to make a lot of mistakes in his kingship, but not this day. No, this day, he lets the foolish people ramble on. Oh, how good it is to just ignore! That’s more easily said than done, because we could easily get caught up, always obsessing over whether or not someone liked what we said, or wondering, “How about if I made a mistake?” Sadly, there are people who have gone nowhere for decades because they’re worried about what people might think. You have to know that even if God were to use you as he used John the Baptist, there would still be people criticizing it, so you have to just let it go! You have to do what Saul did here. Just ignore it and think to yourself, “You’re not going to take away my peace. You’re not bothering me. No, I know what God wants me to do, and God’s blessing me, so I’m keeping on…”

I do not choose to be in front lines...it is God who had placed me...and whatever it is He is going to bring me through. 

Just have to hang in there...and see the victory that I would be rejoicing over it...

Ending this chapter for now

Sitting here alone at secret recipe, enjoying my RM3 coffee on a Monday evening and consciously taking time to blog once again.

I will be ending this blog before it became too public. These will be a very memorable site for me, all the joys and pains when I was in sabah, till now that I am a full time staff...all are well written down here. I am still praying one day I will be able to finish writing a book, because I have so much of stories to tell and share, how Abba God had brought me from level to another.

Yesterday evening I had a dream, I dreamt of going shopping at Giant, I picked up a handbag and groceries from a trolley which doesn't belong to me, and I went high and low looking for management office to send back the handbag, and then I heard announcement of someone loosing handbag and with a pitiful voice asking for generous soul to return the handbag. When I was there I insisted the owner to pick up from me because the world so evil that if I leave to officer it probably will not return to the owner. Then I woke up, and what was the message to me? Guess it's of lesson to be prudent and diligent...

Last few weeks I kept having migraine and even now as I am typing I could feel my head is aching. I can only cried out to Abba for healing. Last Saturday o almost broke down coz I was so so tired, yet, I hang on to Him, seeing the students grow and imparting them was my utmost desire, but somehow besides these, I was also the transport coordinator, driver for worship practice, and anything to do with the students, I'll have a part to play, sometimes I wonder where is the boundary, where's the balance? I find it fulfilling when I have personal chat and prayer w students but I don't want to be running around doing church, planning for events which has nothing to do with students and coordinating stuff. 

I don't know where all this will lead, just pray for Jesus to guide me and be the keeper of my heart !

Tears of Joy - 9/7/16 12.30am

Im just reminded of the verse that those who sow in tears will reap in joy. As I am writing this, my tears just couldn't stop flowing...how do I ended up being a full time worker and now are impacting life of young people, how God had placed such burden for the people and how God had enable to me do greater things. 

I was a girl full of fears and concern. Despite all the inadequacy, God kept challenges me to rise up and take position, and I am slowly allowing God to really take control and hold that sterling of my life's wheel. It's really scary at times but all the more I am seeing Hos glory. 

I desire to drive the van and pick them for outings, bring them to places they have never been, and God gave me courage to drive the van although my heart is full of fears but God really took care of me and the ppl I fetched. Never in my life I could imagine driving a van of 15 ppl, and going to place like teluk bahang, never also it crosses my mind to access the places that I need to drive until that moment can and I got shock of myself that how come I never think of it before, anyway I drive with the confidence God has given me.

Van with loads of them

Then the camp took event with just less than 2 weeks planning and one time meeting with 3 students which I did not even know them or work with them before. But somehow we clicked and things got running. They had enjoyed themselves and the most joy is seeing all of them having a change of heart, to be open with one another and boldness in sharing after much encouragement.

This scene moved me deeply...because I literally see how this young boy shed his tears, if it's not God, who else? It's never in my agenda to have this session, but somehow just a simple get together to pray and God just moved. Lord, I am so so amazed by You.

So much fun we had, as well as throughout the trip I could feel the bonding between them. Despite the big hu ha about the other 3 boys and also one student's sudden death of her sis, God moved among these people, such encouragement to hear these testimony from them, it really brought me so so much joy. These time and money sown into their life is never in vain, God, thank You, thank You so so so much for Your love! 

Such joy

No Words to Describe my Feeling

4th July 2016 11pm.

Wanted so much to get my beauty sleep, but I have to insist to write down lest I forgot. The last 2 weeks have been really exciting. Here is the summary of it :

End May : Kairos Course - thinking of where the Lord actually place me, am I at the right place, being a missionary, full time worker, pastor, etc ? Where the Lord is leading me? Have a good chat with Malcolm and Linda and God confirmed what was in my heart - stay put in Penang and take care of Stradford students.

Early June : Lost of luggage in Sabah, despite that, God's assurance is so evident, that peace that surpassed understandings.

12th June - Pr Paul Ang's meeting - Mencari Wajah Tuhan, Ask of the Lord...ASK...and I began to ask more.

Leader's training 15th June 16 - Power of the Holy Spirit
1 John 2:20, 27 - The annointing which you received from Him abides in you, He will teaches you concerning ALL things. The way God teaches is through annointing.

21&23 June - Dr Pat Francis Conference. I didnt plan to go for this, yet God made a way for me to go as the class in EPCC is cancelled. It was so divine...I have been asking the Lord on financial planning, on how to get more money...how can i serve the kingdom of God when I dont have much to offer and now the students are poor, how can I be a blessing to them. In the morning before the meeting, God gave me Deut 8:18 - You shall remember the Lord Your God for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth and so that He may establish His covenant which he swore to your fathers as it is this today. She shared about how she asked God for funds for her poor students and how God pour it out to her...in amazing way, and the key is...Desire comes first, then He will give the ability.

End June : I got my confirmation and the money I can be used to meet needs for the SIC Students. At least I no longer need to ache much for providing to them. God miraculously provide RM 700 from WA funds. Then God challenged the RM 500 into building fund. Today I got back RM 500 that I had sown into the building fund. All my cries been heard and answered :)

On Healing....I was struggling quite abit due to faith, unbelieve and reality, but God today proof me wrong again, the lesson given by Raymond Mooi was so timely. When I spoke to my friend, I do not know where does the revelation came from. He just gave wisdom and I just talk as if I had prepared the script long time ago. Such a good good God I have

On Provision...suddenly, after so long, never know BRIM sudah masuk my account, without even me realising it.

Oh there are so so much to be thankful for....and I know there is more to come.

Of His Reassuring Love

This is my sharing to the team about my mission trip to Sabah. I wrote this yesterday in the evening and at night I was at the Power to Create Wealth conference and Dr Pat Francis made a remarks which so resound in my heart, "it all start with desire, then God will give the ability, availability comes before ability. Her example of how she asked God for the poor and deprived youth, and how God provided was so good, this is what I face now, the students are poor but not because of the environment is notorious but just they are not exposed and taught the way it should be, and I have always asked, what am I going to do, how do i creatively stir their talent and allow them to be groom? The answer is Ask, Ask the Lord of the harvest ! 

This is the testimony I sent for my team mate : 

Blessed Assurance

As I am writing this, God brought me back to the memory of my first mission trip with KL First AOG to Cambodia almost 3 years ago, the prophesy I heard and the vision that God had placed in my heart…and now itseems that it had fallen into places. I believe there is no such thing as co-incident and things just happen, but all our steps are ordained by the Lord (Prov 20:24). Never knew that very first connection I had with mission team in KL First AOG to Cambodia became a divine appointment that leads me this far to a full time calling in Penang. 

The trip this time round was a bit different in a sense that I am already a full time staff in a church. It was also a last minute planning and decision for me to join the team after getting blessings from my pastor. It was also the first time we are having Children Camp in the 2 villages, and children have always been precious in my heart. I went with much anticipation and confidence this time, praying that Abba would minister and allow the children to absorb whatever that they have learned.

On the first day when we were making journey up to Kota Marudu, there were some hiccups as the villager who was supposed to pick us up did not turn up due to vehicle issue. I was not at all concern, because I know Abba will take care of it because we are in His business, and my experiences of long term stay in the village last year have taught me that everything going to be all right ultimately. Then we managed to get the Ketua Sidang in SIB Tagaroh to fetch us up to Kg Gontoi. When we arrived at Kg Gontoi, my luggage was missing from the vehicle. Of all the things, my luggage dropped on the way up, probably due to the bumpy road that makes room for my luggage to slipped from the ropes and fell. My first reaction was, “Praise God, I just separated out my childrens materials from my luggage into one plastic bag before we went up to village, and it won’t affect my lesson”. Despite the bad news, my heart is totally at peace, because I know ultimately He is in control. Just that my concern is my eyes because my spectacles, contact lens case and saline are all in my luggage, and without it, I couldn’t see as my short-sighted is quite bad.Well, I do not have choice, I just have to make-do with whatever I have, so every night I would be putting my lenses into a bottle of mineral water and the next day I would wore it back again. I praise God for supportive team, one of my funny team mate, Ivan prayed on the first night, “Lord you turn water into wine, now Lord you turn water into saline for Celina”. It may seems like a funny prayer, but yea, I caught the miracle that God performed in Cana 2000 years ago and proclaim as what Ivan had prayed. The next day, I wore back the lenses, and it was all fine and that went on for 4 nights. The first night I was abit cautious on cleanliness of my hands, after experiencing His favor for 2 nights, the 3rd night, I am more relaxed because I know I am in good hand. I have never ever dare to risk anything especially with my eyes, and I knew the hazards of wearing contact lens for long hours, but in the village, without much choice, I knew God will see me through and indeed He preserved my eyes from any harm.

When I came down from village, I checked with one of my friend who is an optician, she was saying it is truly not advisable to do that, and the many articles I read about soaking contact lens properly and its risks, again it proof that God indeed had perform that miracle for keeping my eyes in perfect condition. On a normal days,there would be times when I would had eyes irritation even when I had proper care of my lenses, but throughout the 4 long day, my eyes is in perfectcondition. Indeed God is good.

Of course, needless to say about all other things, clothes, innerwear, toothbrush, towel, etc, all other toiletries, Ithank God for good team mates who willingly lend/giveme some of their belongings despite them needing it for themselves. I am really encouraged with the team spirit that we had throughout the mission trip, despite no clear leader leading the team. It is like we are all leaders, handling different roles at different times, each contributed their best for the people in the villagers.

God have never fail to re-assurance me, the questions and doubts I had in my mind, with this incident, and my calmness of heart, I know that indeed I had grown in my faith in Him and my God is so much greater than my problems. When I thought back the whole incident, and how can my heart be at peace, I am amazed, and I know Abba is with me and I am at right direction, I am made for missions and the reassurance of its not about my ability, but what it takes is just a willing heart, being a vessel used by Him. I really could not find any excuse not to serve Him.

 

- the end -

24th June 2016

Sitting by at coffee bean after meeting with pastor, again, thanking the Lord for His faithfulness.

Last week I had listened to couple of messages about financial planning, tithing and wealth. Capacity, increase of capacity by Pr Steven Teo and wealth and values of woman as mentioned in Bible, it was really eye opening and challenging. I am glad to go back to my home church before joining EPCC, meeting with friends and catching up, sharing testimonies, and yea, again...I really feel im really different, growing out of the shyness and low self esteem because I am highly favored, deeply bless and greatly loved. The sisters whom I had established my friendship with would always remain dear in my heart. I pray all of them will catch the flame and pursue Christ in such a great manner :)

Love them all

 

 

Ask, Seek, Knock 19 June 2016

Kasih Yesus indah oh indah...

So so much in my heart, been really some time I have not sat down and really spend time blogging. Most of the times are just time filler. Such a busy week is over and finally I could just sit at the comfort of my living room and spend some time thanking the Lord for His goodness.

Last week Ps Paul Ang was preaching in main church and i just felt I wanted to go and listen. Deep inside me asking the Lord to minister again. Came back from Sabah with experience of missing luggage yet able to rejoice in midst of all, and then sat at the message of Ps Paul Ang and again, Ask, Seek, Knock appear so clear to me again. Ask from Abba? Or human? Regardless whatever it is, I know God will lead me further. This life of mine, after having lost another beautiful friendship turned rship, once again, He had reassure me, that He will continue to lead me on...to a greater height.

Yesterday morning itself again I was hit by bad migraine, and again pushing myself beyond limit, and I had a good time cg. Did not plan to have lesson and mind was blank, but somehow when I stopped by KFC to vomit and have some food so tummy is not empty...somehow God impress few verses, and there I went, sharing my heart with them and I believe it is from Him. During the cg, I was the one handling games, prayer and lesson, and my headache just diminished abit and after the cg, felt it is coming back and I kept rebuking the pain. Despite the lethargy, after cg, I brought a student to pray and journey w her on certain issues. My mind was really not functioning in the flesh, but in spirit, pushing beyond the natural to supernatural...yea, His spirit led me to hit the right button and advice. By time reached home about 11plus,  I just felt like my head going to break, and just crying and crying out to God, that He will take this pain away forever...this morning I had some pain but kept confessing I am fine, and I just can't stand but just pop a painkiller and otw to church, I was all all right. So is my faith depend on God or medicine. I wish I don't have to take it but I just can't stand, anyway I was all good despite the pain, enjoyed the service, praying for the fathers and fellowship with one another. This journey had been challenging and yet fruitful, every little thing I see in the life of the students, how valuable are they in the eyes of Abba...pushes me to persevere on, impacting life...

Lord, help me finish this race, not just starting it...and end well, that's what matters.

Such joy to have this group of students from Ranau and Kota Marudu here with me in Penang.

Farewell for Adrianne, Eli and Fiona. Though my time with them is not much, praise God for the short time spent knowing and teaching her kids.

Praying for all the daddies. Wishing U dad is still here, but well, he's at a better place now :)

Farewell to Pip and Pru, another 2 students going back sarawak, pray their journey in EPCC had been really fruitful that when they are in the work world they are able to stand...

It was a good week nevertheless...praise the Lord Almighty