4th Day

At town again, supposedly to meet up representation for Impian Sabah, but she couldn't make it suddenly, and I am not aware of it coz no line...abit disappointed coz the villager fetch me down thinking really have serious discussion. My first instinct was that whether they serious in helping or just entertaining? Well, should give benefit of doubt I guess, sometimes I think I'm abit naive to think that NGO can help...anyway, it's ok, still will be meeting some representation from Tenom..and I hope he turn up...haizzz

It's my fourth day, things are fine, of course there are inconvenience, but looking at bigger picture the inconvenience shouldn't be an obstacle lar...

My bathing water comes from this tank, rain water eh...3 days bathing, skin still ok, lol...Gods grace, seriously feel im such a mission material lah....

Already started my first session bible story w the kids...at Ahuron not many kids, coz most of them at Kemabong or SK Korolok...the kids here needs to walk one hour to school, so kasihan...

My humble zzzz place, these few nights had good god sleep, haha...thank God I'm used to the weather at kapulu, so at Ahuron not that cold compared Kapulu...

This is the church :) nice church...not completed yet, only have wall...whenever there is church service I can charge my phone and one week they have 4 services, so doesn't matter no batt also coz no line there afterall :) 

Beautiful moon for past 2 nights :)

In everything give thanks and I'll be happier..know God is always always with me..and I should be glad coz I am His

At Kemabong again

30 Aug 2015 9.35 am

My first Sunday service at Ahuron. Message from 1 kings 8:54-61

God will keep His promises, His Church will be filled and God will be with in our midst. Tuhan akan menyertai, sepertimana Dia menyertai nenek moyang kita.

This is my 3rd day here, I'm abit worry of the water system here, but I just have no choice but just to trust God. My throat is abit pain, not sure it's coz ajinomoto or its water not clean w bacteria, Lord, regardless what it is, You know and You are in control. I have 12 bottles drinking waters, pray it can last me for another 2 weeks. Not sure tomorrow I'll be able to get to Tenom to meet Lilian, Lord You arrange all...

My bathing water are from pipe plus rain water...Oh Lord, You know me, thank You that You delay my reaching here...probably U know my level of tenacity :) despite all this, I guess I'm quite fine...it's just a matter of getting used to it...so far been 3 days and I'm still all right...

8pm...

Today we had 7 hours of prayers and fasting...really encouraged to see how this village is so hunger after God and his word, one week they have 4 services, Sunday morning & night, Thursday, and Saturday night...oh I pray You will bless the villagers here...

Ystd night I shared about my testimony how I am here...I guess I wasn't really prepared then...heart still very unsettled...and tonight again I am sharing...using back the message I had for Kapulu...hope that's what the Lord have laid in my heart, these ppl know the word more, listened more, but what is the condition of the heart? As I shared, You minister to me as well...thank You Lord, today is going to be a good night. Just now also I had started class with the adults, 7 of them, and I pray I will teach with patience coz they totally doesn't recognise any letters at all...help me Lord, and most of all Your anointing be upon Your people, not so much of me but You...stomach was feeling abit painful, probably coz long hour of fast, claim His healing for gastric and sore throat...TQ Jesus, You are good...

As usual, village time are rubber time...never start on time, but I'm used to it already, been almost 3 months in the village already :) tomorrow they are able to fetch me down to meet Lilian...but I can't contact her, haizzz, pray she would be here...Lord, You lead me, to do the right thing...TQ Jesus...

Second day at Ahuron 29th Aug 2015

Finally am here, now I see why the delay of me coming here, I guess everything happen for a purpose...

Am staying at pastor house, beside the tadika, big and spacious place but not so much of privacy like in Kapulu, kitchen and toilet is at the other side of building...and ystd I just bath in an open air...wow...can't imagine the condition here is worst than kapulu. The water here is stored at tangki, and the tangki is moldy, and that's their source if drinking water 😒 Lord, this village needs more help and support! And why aren't the government looking at their welfare of these people? Probably there's no school over here, so the facilities and infrastructure is bad as well..

Came down to Kemabong to settle some kindy stuff, good that I can have my line utilized :) 

My mandi place cum toilet, haha..

The place where I stay. This tangki doesn't hold gravity water like in Kapulu :( it's rain water unfortunately...haizzz..

Pray for safety and health for me here ya, I believe it's gonna be fruitful one despite the inconvenience :)

Kitchen..all is within some vicinity...

27 Aug 2015 450pm

Line here seems to be very bad that it took quite some time to load the blog. Suppose to go another village Tues but somehow I waited but no one picked me up, so am still waiting, tomorrow will follow people from Yayasan Sabah down, hopefully they know the way there...and they can graciously help me carry all my bArang barang...really amazing how God bring other ppl to fetch me at times, the Ketua Sidang have transport, but I also don't know why he doesn't offer to drop me, I guess he is following the principle of whichever village im suppose to go to, they should come and pick me. Well despite the discussion during Kalimaran, still things not work as it is...Ahuron doesn't have reception of any telco nor wifi, so the only way to contact is at kemabong, when have line, but even with that, looking at my experience guess the people here memang flexible and its culture is just wait. Apparently there is no vehicle to bring me down, thank God Rumba managed to get them and told me their vehicle spoil, at least today I did not repack and unpack again and I just take today easily, reading alot of scriptures and pray. 

Tomorrow hopefully I'll be safe and sound there..these 2 days been raining, pray tomorrow weather would be good and I can travel without much hassle there, Lord, I know everything is within Your control, all I need to do is just to trust! And Lord make way also for me to meet the impian Sabah people. Am not very politically inclined but if the political party can help, why not? I even thought of joining them in the next project...well, have a lot in mind, not sure which is of the Lord, well, He will make it clear for me, I am finding quite hard to rest, despite am at village. Time passed very fast somehow, then now this week when I stopped teaching, suddenly I felt the time stopped and I just don't know what to do...and I'm so malu that I can say I dunno what to do when I could actually have a lot a lot time to pray and study the scripture. 

I came across Susan Tang book, she was saying our prayer time should be more than ministry time, otherwise it's not healthy and dangerous, I guess it's really true, nothing beats the quality of spending time with God, despite the busyness of life.

This few weeks of witness few things happening in the village. I think it's election time...haha, slowly govt aid is coming in, the jabatan tanah Dan ukur came to divide land status to villagers, then sabah tourism board distributing bags, clothes and stationery, the yayasan sabah came to teach crafts, yayasan Islam came and gave uniform and sch shoes...and ystd got cari gali ppl came, so called building well that can provide water to drink...weird...but that's just superficial aide, what does the villager really need? Good education and love...whereby these ppl are being appreciated as 'people' and not treated as outcast, hardcore poor and don't have the good mentality...and respect as well. People come and go, taking pictures here and there and leave...but is the ppl here being helped? Hmm...long term thingy, who can and able to endure, I can't say myself too...am thinking if I am multi millionaire, I can do much more,

Combination of my heart and willingness with the plenty of money that I had, I would just purchase a 4wheel for the villagers use, at least they can get down to town easily for their education, medical and also trade...but I don't have the money to buy, and I also don't dare to drive...so am still praying...secular, earn money...or trusting Him and serve and live in the means...only He knows and He will lead me step by step....I am learning a lot, most important to have steady heart, still learning...but definitely this 4 mths in sabah is not wasted, I know He have His purpose...and I just need to be thankful always and forever....He is good !!!

7.48 pm 23 Aug 2015

7.48 pm 23 Aug 2015

Sitting at school now with kids tying my hair...today suppose to be my last day here but then dunno how they manage to contact Ahuron people and ask them to fetch me Tuesday..so tomorrow have one more day to have my line and access. Starting to miss them already...I cooked barley with dates for them to drink, that's the best I can cook with limited ingredients I had..and they enjoyed it. Suppose to have Penutupan today but postpone to tomorrow...and the Ibu's gonna cook for me again...

This morning, I woke up very early, 6am..because of a dream...went to school and in the end I got quite disturbed, my emotions was really bad, just feel somehow my spirit wanna die off liao...and I wish I could just go down to Ahuron without any line and access so I can shut myself from all the discouragement and bad news one after another, my heart is just so weary....While walking back, I slipped...I just felt like don't want to get up and wanna cry and shout on top of my voice!!! I went back feeling discouraged, nevertheless need to prepare for service. I waited to see whether Ibus walk passed for the Ibus meeting but until 9am still never see anyone walking towards church, so I went again to sch, to charge my hp, and again checking messages...and I got even more upset! My heart pained to every inch of it....I have to put and end to all the negative things, all the bad news, one after another...hurdles after hurdles seems never ending...I pull myself up and I tell myself I have to get out I have to get out...so I went to church after that...and when saw all the kids hangin around, I just gathered them and tell them story of Abraham...how he obeyed God to extend of sacrifice his son Isaac on the altar...

I was reminded the prophesy I received long long time, a moment ago....sacrifice my Isaac on the altar...probably now it's really the fulfillment of the prophesy I received long time ago, giving up my life, my family, my career, my loves one to altar of God...

Halfway through teaching leader came to me and say Celina, hari ini kamu khutbah, hari terakhir kamu...I was like...hmm...can I say no? Anyway I said bah bah, without a clue what to share. I was abit not ready at heart, esp so many things occupy my mind...anyway i just pray and ask the Lord to help me...I had few messages I heard from my laptop but is that good enough? If not words of season for the villagers, so there will be no power, I just surrender and prayed...and then the scripture reading for today was : 

““You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘ Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.”

Matthew 5:21-26 NIV

 

I was convicted that I'd done my good part, and the rest I can only surrender...and during worship, God just gave me a message miraculous, and I searched for scriptures, can't find...and I just told God...take control...and there

I was at the pulpit....and man, I shared a powerful message. Don't know where does the courage and power come from....im speaking like a politician!!! Such annointing I received from Him!!! The power of pressure I had faced prior to that, and the power of surrendering, that God would give me a message so timely, not for the ppl, but for me very personally...as I shared, You are special, I told the congregation, they are priceless, don't allow any sticker to stick to them and affect their spiritual life, wow, it's like God come down and talk to me so so personally. I challenged them also to pay 10% tithes and read Gods word coz it's the only thing that can give life, and words just came...pap pap pap...so precise and I shared with much tremors and tears. I shared my personal walk with God here at village so transparently to them, that when I wish for some food, somehow I don't go down on my knees and day long prayer but God answer it.. Just like that..and assure them, and myself, God had never forsaken anyone...im really preaching my heart out, for myself...and then I prayed for the ppl, I could just literally feel Gods presence, oh it was awesome...I was so set free...

Really thank God for such special moment, times when I feel so downcast, He again proof that He is the author of my life...how beautiful....Lord, always remind me of this beautiful experience with You. For those reading this, whenever you see me discouraged or down, please always remind me how God have truly been my God all these while....and forevermore too....

And my hair is up :) 

My beautiful children...Lord bless their heart...

And now they are playing uno at my house...last night spend w them here...I am going to miss them. I know one day I'll see them again, my prayer go with them, that they are going to study hard and will be able to get to Uni and one day they would recognize me, the Cikgu Celina that always nag them to study :) 

Okie time to zzzz and tomorrow still another day for me to wash and pack, thank You Lord for the good night sleep...

24 Aug 2015

Last day, hope it's real and ppl really pick me up la...

Dunno how is Ahuron like...been packing for quite some time, pray tomorrow I won't have to wait long coz I don't plan to cook and have any meal until at Ahuron liao...

God direct every of my step please...

Almost 4 months out from Pg...so much valuable experienced altogether...to God be the glory :)

He is God

Lord You are always here with me

There is no changing God in Thee

You are the same yesterday

And today and forevermore

Here on Your promises I stand

You hold my future in Your hand

My solid Rock, Almighty God

I worship You

 

When the trouble comes I trust in You

For I know You will lead me through

And I know You are faithful till the end

And when the storms are drawing near

When I'm with You I don't have to fear

You're my Shepherd on whom I can depend

 

Through the day, through the night

I know You're always by my side

 

Lord You are always here with me

There is no changing God in Thee

You are the same yesterday

And today and forevermore

Here on Your promises I stand

You hold my future in Your hand

My solid Rock, Almighty God

I worship You

6am 23 Aug 2015

Woke up with dream, can't sleep on, so decided to go for a walk and get my wifi but the wifi doesn't work, sadly. I think it's gonna be tough for me not having access to line, probably that's what the Lord want me to be, access to Him directly rather than Internet :)

God what's next? This has been a question in my heart, please direct my path, faith...I need that unshaken faith and assurance...despite all, U are still with me...sometimes I think to myself, am comfy where I was back then, what am I getting myself into? 

God, please lead me