28 May 2015

Today is another busy day, guess busy because I'm not a trained teacher, so I did a lot homework to make sure I am teaching right thing..but I'm abit saddened today that despite my preparation, the children don't really have the heart to learn. A Std 6 student can't even read English sentences. Probably my expectation is rather high. Again I was thinking to myself, how much can I impact? Lord help me! 

This is actually std 6 paper but none of the questions can be answered by them...how am I going to teach so they can learn? Is it too late for them? 

I kept online and find the syllabus and even come to class to search for their textbook to know their syllabus, but my heart is burden, I shouldn't have think of how much can I contribute but just try my best ! Lord help me

At 5pm, the moon is already out, ystd night was quite a bright night, moonlight brightly shinning...am too tired to enjoy the moonlight. Recently since I taught both adult and kids I felt my energy go low easily.

The dog I called Mike...today cooked some pucuk ubi, but somehow I guess

I picked wrong leaves, it was quite hard,so in the end let the doggy eat, poor skinny dog.

Downloading Gods not dead movie, been almost one hour sitting at school just to wait for it to finish load, wanna go home fast fast den zzzz, now the time is only 720pm...yet I'm low batt liao...haiz..pray tomorrow be a good good day

27 May 2015

Today is a good day, it rained heavily yesterday night again and this morning it was very cold...woke up and eat my noodles soup and then went to teach adult. Now I had separated the adult class into 2 - advance and basic, alternating between the days from 8-10am everyday. Sometimes I still think whether my teaching method is correct, but I guess well, without any training, I'm not bound to a specific method, so am free to teach, and prayerfully God would be one that hold their hand and mind to remember and learn. 

This is basic class :) only 4 of them, got 2 MIA old couple yet to come though they had sign up.

After class I went to canteen as usual to online and chat w mom n friend. Then went back home to prepare for Std 1,2 and 5 tuition. Discovered no water again, this time I'm not so kan cheong liao, relax and have my devotion and praising God for all that had took place. Oh ya, I really wanna thank the Lord, been more than a week, I'd not seen any cockroach or spiders in my room liao, every night can sleep soundly with bugs music accompanying me :) really praise God, am really glad and so rejoicing that God sees my needs and answer accordingly. 

He really takes care of my needs. 

Everyday my tuition is at 2-4pm, but the kids here doesn't have sense of time, monday I waited 2pm, they came at 3pm, Tues I tot they gonna be late but they came 1.30..so I rush thru my materials and den went to kindy with them, today they came even earlier, 1230noon, I have not even eaten, plan to fried rice at 1pm, but since they are here, so I bring all in and start the lesson. 

Don't really know their syllabus but just teach according to the books I had, too bad they can't really follow, hmm, their command of language is really poor, and patiently I have to go through a,b,c with the std 1&2 kids..not sure it's normal that they have not master it yet at this age  😔 I just do my part la...

After finished about 3pm baru I start cook. Thank God I had water collected at pail for rainy days use..so am able to fry my rice :)

Looks good eh? Haha...make do with the extra nasi I had. By the way I'd cook few times with firewood and it was fun, except for the initial trouble of starting the fire :) used up a lot carosene...hmm..

Umbus aka pucuk ubi kayu :)

So basically today's my day, right now sitting in the classroom downloading online exam paper so I can do abit revision with them....Lord, help me to always teach my best and be of good steward to You :)

26 May 2015

It's 615 here and it has been raining here and there, when it's still drizzle I came by still...and now it's raining heavily again. 

Today my heart is very heavy, such a weight on me...in the morning I felt im not really concentrating well to teach the adult, and noon I felt so restless coz despite they are already std 3&4, the command of language is still poor...and I'm thinking to myself how much can I help 😔 will I make a difference here or am I purely wasting my time here? 

Today had conversation with the teacher, they are asking me why am I doing all this? I just smile and just let them know I am tired of work, so do sth meaningful and at same time contribute to the village. He said I will sure go heaven...I wanted so much to tell him that he can too go heaven...but just kept quiet...

Every night the kids will be accompanying me and talk and talk and talk, and play w my things...I began to feel abit of no freedom coz I have to always check on them, otherwise all my bArang they will selongkar...why all the negative thoughts all come together...2 more week I'll be going down to KK...hope I really make the best of this 2 weeks here and not to lose focus...sometimes I do get weary, but somehow I still persevere, knowing and trusting Him...I really pray I am able to discern what is there really for me in my walk with Him! 

25 May 2015

Today is my big day :)

Early morning had my coffee and then went to panggung to teach the adult, was prompt to share about 5bread and 2 fishes...felt there are discouragement on learning...I know it's not easy for their age to learn ABC..but for sake of reading bible these people wanted to learn, some very slow, some quite all right...I guess my main objective is more of imparting spiritual food to them..rather than teaching abc. Each time before and after lesson I'll start with prayer, at times I don't know how to pray and everyday repeat same prayer but I guess God don't mind that as He knows each of our heart. 

After that I went hunting for paku pakis and manage to get some kangkung also, so for lunch I had 2 vege with porridge. So it was quite a filling meal me.

When I wanna start eating, a girl came standing at my door and talk to me...I asked her whether she had eaten she said yes, so I just ignore her and continue my meal, she stood under the sun, so I asked her in. She is a catholic girl stay beside my house...she told me she is staying alone, so I told her tonight come and stay w me, and I let her play with the letters, while eating I asked her to form words...

I had leftover porridge coz too full, while washing, she looks at me and said do I want to throw the porridge, i said yea coz I can't finish, she said...let me have it, my heart broke..I had finished all the veg, and she said that's how her meal been, rice and salt...sigh....

The kids here are pretty much malnourish, those full, but it's just carbo coz there are plenty of rice here coz most of the villagers are farmers of hill rice...

Lord, teach me how to deal with individuals...I can't really cook well and depended on villagers to gimme veg...so if I'm to provide for this RC gals...will the Sib felt imbalance? Hmm....

Today I had my first class with std 6 kids...felt such satisfaction to see the kids learning...they really are far from the learnings in school, just hope at least they do well in BM...at least subject they can do well

24th May 2015

A long long day today...woke up 6am, had my devotion and then I started to lit the firewood to cook, so much fun cooking using firewood, but abit busuk la...well, what to do, wanna save the gas coz once habis I dunno when I can get my next one, so whenever cook rice or soup will use firewood.

As usual kampung time, service suppose to be 8am but end up start 10plus. And apparently the kids are w everywhere and I decided to gather them for Sunday school. Did not prepare, so in my mind there's prodigal son story, so I played 2 games with them and sang one song and then teach them about Fathers love. Still not used to the culture of everything is not on time and impromptu, but just need to adjust myself 

My sunday sch kids...am really glad esp when the boys are listening so attentively..

Then at 2pm suppose to have dance and song practice but again, they din turn up, so I balik mandi..330pm suddenly they appear and say wanna go gereja, so instead of church I gather them at my place...we have good time listening to song and I jadi cheoreographer for the dance pulak...pau ka liao here..but praise God at least confidence comes from God. If at home place, no way am I going to do that..

After dinner and now lepak at sch while charging my hp

Nanas which is easily available for cooking but not to eat as it is coz it's not sweet.

Well tomorrow I'll start my tuition w std 1-6 kids, pray God give me the patience and tenacity and creativity to attract them to learn. Also for adult class, really my desire that they could read the Bible...now I'll be teaching morning and noon, pray that God give me the strength to talk and talk :)

Today finally I had fresh fish to makan, am always grateful for the ppl here that grant me the hospitality and esp bringing me food :) whatever they have they shared...

Ubi kayu that been fried for breakfast and brought to me by the kid..so I had my good breakfast and dinner :)

Please continue to pray for the villagers here, that God will open their spiritual eyes and ears and also the unity among them here, between the Islam, catholic and SIB :) all glory to Him :)

Pictures paint a thousand words

Walking uphill to the tebasan

Padi sawah

Wild mushroom

Another hut at diff part of tebasan. That is the ketua sidang and wife, they are the only SIB family who has 4wheel to go down to town..the rest either tumpang or walked 5-6hours

This is ubi kayu, so huge...today I am bless with many food :) the ppl here is always very generous to me, but I only have one tummy, and I'm just having 2 meals a day, so how much can i contain wor...

This kampung Adidas is really Ichiban! Very slippery road yet am all right..and it got dried easily too...come to think about it, a lot stuff bought for KK hike been useful for me here at kampung, tongkat, my bata sandal, kampung Adidas, torchlight, cold clothing and track bottom..God must have planned this long time ago :)

Some selfie, they laugh at me for my interest in photo taking.

Well, that's on a more relax note. On a serious note, am really relying on Him a lot for strength...sometimes would be worry of what I'm going to do after this one year? There are still things that I feel burden, but God is teaching me to really hang on to Him, not partially but fully...

While blogging this little girl come and keep me company :)

23 May 2015

This morning went for good hike uphill, for me is hike, for the people is to go collect their rice...walked an hour to tebasan, and an hour back...these ppl are so used to it, they came back with 50kg rice on their shoulder, reminds me back of my KK climb...

This couple is Tundung and Antaris...yesterday when I talked to them that I wanna follow them to tebasan to look see their first reaction is jauh cikgu...ada pacat...haha, and true enough when I reach tebasan got one big fat leech on my leg, thank God it have not start sucking my blood...huhu...

This is basically padi sawah, it grew wild and without any fertilizer...so it's organic in a way :)

Small hut that they build on their own for keeping rice...it's quite windy there though there is sun..

From big to small...they are trained for jungles...on the way back we collected a lot tuhau..a plant somewhat like lotus flower which is used to cook Asam

Laksa, but it taste much nicer than lotus flower. 

Just now I used that to fried rice, simply hantam saja, but not bad la...well am not a food picker, so it's ok :) 

Each moment spent with the villagers make me feel so thankful...that I have a good life at town, but just the hectic life, chasing after wealth, which I feel ppl at town is missing so much on life...

Okie, sending this, in case can't go thru coz file is too big

Pictures again

My first firewood cooking :) not bad, successful

Teaching kids to do heart origami for Mother's Day 

Colouring the heart :)

My first fried rice - yummy :)

Kids taking ikrar to do well in exam... Pray they will do well

20th May 2015

Today is kem motivasi from school, since 10am I'm here till now, 338pm, can't go back coz raining heavily. Watching my HK drama at teachers office while waiting for rain to stop. 

This is whole kampung ppl.

I posted 2 posts previously with many pictures, too bad, all hilang coz it din manage to load :( 

Been here for almost one month liao, slowly used to it and I'm enjoying life here, and I know it's all by Gods grace...really have a lot satisfaction seeing the adult trying hard to learn and most important the end goal is to read the Bible. I am slowly also have some session of bible reading with them and also consistent prayer before and after class, I pray that I'm able to impact...will I come back again after back to Pg? Hmm..I wish so, really feel I'm happy here, but at same time sometimes just felt burden, not sure it's pressure I put on myself to accomplish more than that...or it's something God wanna drop in my heart which I'm yet to find out...oh Lord please guide and lead me :)

Delayed post

18th June 2015 1149am

Just finished pre sch with the kids, once again taught them some craft again, this time making elephant. Started the lesson with the letter g, trying to let them learn the letter g - then gajah. I'm not sure how is progress of the kids which is suppose to be, but they just couldn't write. Not sure at age of 5, is it too much of expectation to let them write big words like gajah? 

My heart really cries out to the Lord each time I see them not well, this little girl, Menika been coughing and having fever since last week yet nothing could be done, parent doesn't have the sense of urgency or worry, probably that's why people at villagers live longer coz they just have not much worry coz there's no facilities here for medical and everything is so inaccessible here...and they could only let nature take its place.

If we at developing cities found our kids to be not well, so much worries and concern there, and all is about money..if only all the young moms and dads would know how the people at village or even their parents or grandparent live...they should have to trust God more...each day as God prompt upon my heart His faithfulness, my heart just cried, He has made my heart so tender once again, Lord, let this be so permanent in my life that I would be so compassionate to the poor and needy, increase the wealth, let the wealth of unrighteous fall to the house of righteous, I claim every wealth and richness that belongs to me, restore to me what the locust have eaten! 

Last 2 days I was at Kg Katubu for SIB Sentral combined service. The message is for the leaders of church to be aware of their role as shepherds. These 2 days that I stayed with the villagers, I can really feel how cooperative they are, and my welfare is of utmost concern to them, they make sure I am well taken care of and I'm truly bless to be with them, just a big happy family. Just I felt abit out of place coz I don't really know any topic to talk with them...I'm really not very good in connecting w older ppl, but more of kids person. Once the troop from Sumambu reached, I was surround with kids and also some young moms and we could talk, probably they are more educated and can speak well BM, but over at my place their BM is not so fluent, so I was thinking at times do they get me right and vice versa. Generally, I'm not so sure of my acceptance as a part of them but I'm sure they respected me as their teacher.

This is how we usually have our meals, the rice wrapped with leaf is really nice, that's also how they preserve their rice as it can be kept for some days.

This is the amount of ppl who squeeze

Into one 4-wheel. I counted, total of 6 adults and 8 kids, plus one baby. 15 people in a 4-wheel car to go uphill. That's how the people travel, there are few who walked, which took about almost 4 hours to reach. Really salute their energy and tenacity. 

And that's me, first time collecting pucuk ubi from the roadside which grew in wilds. When I saw how they actually squeeze and pressed the leaves, haha, I praise God so far I'd never have any tummy ache :) 

This is how it is done.

Well, not sure how fast this can be sent, looking at many pics, I better start off another page, so it loads faster.

Short post with pics

Am here early morning at the sch, catching wifi before going downhill to katubu where there's no line. Praying for smooth journey and have a good celebration of combines kampungs festival. Thankful for the Lord for all He have prepared me this far...am enjoying and liking it more here, the serenity and peace of heart :) 

Repeated craft I did with the kids here...they are enjoying it.

That's the teacher for the kindy. Still waiting for new building of new kindy so the RC will be able to join as well.

And this is me, with laptop on and me writing down sermon notes...praise God for the many spiritual food that I had downloaded before I came :) the message from Ps Paul Ang is so timely...preparation to serve God :)

Missing pieces :( well, hope can find the pieces out soon

One month away from home - 15May 2015 1010am

While waiting for the kindy kids to finish their break, jotting down some thoughts here...It has been a month I am away from home, I'm actually all right to live alone, except for the no electricity and of course family concern. I know God is and have been really faithful to me...many fears had diminished since I first stayed in, if it's not of God, where does the strength and tenacity came from? It has been raining non stop last few days, but that doesn't deter me from going tadika and play w kids, teaching them abc and trying to squeeze them to write...haha...and also the adult class, though I waited for some time coz raining, in the end such joy to see they came, can really see that their heart really want to learn, but unfortunately some of them really can't catch up...and I am wondering how actually to help them :(

I'm slowly getting to the pace of spending quality time with God and each time its a wonderful time, learning of His word and be strengthen...fasting have been so easy now that nobody really control me here, and I don't feel hungry here as much as I did back home, probably there is not much of temptation here and I had a lot of rice that keeps me full. 

Praise God, since now that I have been staying on my own without anyone's company, since the night when I fell and came back wet, I cried unto the Lord, I'm so tired and sick of the cockroaches and spiders, and I'm so afraid...I really cried all my heart out for the Lord to help me, I bind and command all the insects to leave, and this 2 days, I did not see any cockroach in my room, praise Him.

Then yesterday there's another challenge...no water..so have to utilse whatever amount of water left to wash up, utilizing little amount of water to wash hand, then I have to go down to the main tangki to take water to brush teeth, and then went to tadika...let them see laptop and sing ABC, then come back home after rain subside abit..and house left with no water, so in my survival skill, I decided to put 2 pail under the sky to get my sky water...boy, I really make do with whatever I can find here...since weather is so cold,  sort abit of my things up, and found 4 cockroaches inside a box where I kept my unused barang...huhu...thrown the box out and the cocktoaches also escape...then, it's lunch, and since I don't have clean water, so went to canteen and makan...and this cost me RM 5..man..poor the villagers, no wonder they have never go to canteen for food! 

But well, I give thanks also la, at least a proper meal and I gotta makan ayam also...

After adult class, praise God, I see Gods favor again. Someone sent me a big pineapple and veg and fish slice and also sardine.

Then they also went up and took another 2 pails of water for me for my use...with that 4 pails I managed to cook a proper meal, plus to mandi...Many would feel I'm so pitiful here, but am I? Each day I experienced so much of Gods goodness, living with a simplicity of life, and most importantly to enjoy the nature. I know family is worry, but so far, despite all the incompleteness and lack of many things, hygiene, etc, never once I have any problem, compared with when I'm back home, always feel sick, but I'm here all perfectly fine. I manage to even cook my rice with fire wood, haha, interesting :) 

Yes, at times I do feel sien that I always need to clean and kill, haha...but in all these I learn to give thanks for all that mom did for me, and it help me to really experience being the manager of the house :)

I can stand all the inconveniences, but this one thing I can't really withstand is when kids poo 😥

There's one kids in the tadika who cannot control bowel, she always pangsai on her pant, poor teacher always need to help her clean up, and worst, when there is no water, and she pangsai twice, oh...I wanna pengsan liao..first the teacher use the leaf to wipe, then she went down to kolam to take cappuccino colour water to wash, and it's still not clean and when she came into class I can literally see shits on her shirts and it smells...oh no!! This is sth which I can't stand, when she try to get near me, I felt abit uncomfy coz I scared she kena me 😥 it's not just her, but if any boy or girls, even Joel, Jared, Michelle or Merlyn, my own nieces and nephew, I had never wash their poo before...how to be mommy lar? Can't stand changing diaper then! Haha...

Okie, gonna save this and hopefully have time to send later...

Kaki naik tinggi tinggi with candlelight, yesterday...listening to sermon under the rhythm of the rain :) 

Tomorrow will not have line coz am going for Central festival, where all the SIB from many churches will come together for activity :) pray there will be good weather and I'm able to connect with the people there :)