11 Jan 2023 - One Hectic week

 Thank You Lord for the new year....

I know it is not a good beginning of the year, but Lord I know that You are in control. I know YOU had changed this heart of mine, there are so much things happened today, but You are in control....You will keep me in perfect peace, whose heart is set on You! Isaiah 26:3...yes Lord....

I know today my heart is steady because I have You, and You have always been my assurance, so thank You, despite all the negative situation, I still praise You...i know something good will come out of it Lord.

Abba, I bring Alidah before you, heal her Abba, let her experience for real, You reality in her life....let her experience You personally....I pray for the scan, I decree everything will be all right. I pray she will find the purpose behind all that had happened...let her begin to ponder and praise You!

Lord, I bring Christian before You, YOu know Him inside out, Lord for the interview tomorrow, I pray that he will do well and I pray for favor from the interviewer, that he will get the job that he desire...thank You Jesus, it will be done according to Your will.

Lord, for Edward, in the Name of Jesus, heal him of his autism, In the Name of Jesus, whatever brokenness in His life, You take it away, Lord heal his heart so that his life would flourish and even as he desire to serve you in mission field again, Lord equip him, let him be patience in waiting, for in Your time, it will come...

Lord for Online Campus, thank You for Pr Mike & Pr Brooke, even as they are adjusting themselves in Bali, Lord I pray for supernatural strength and adaptation, that they and their kids will adapt well, they will understand Your leading, I pray for widsom and discernment, no weapon formed against them will ever prevail. 

Lord for all connects and church at homes, Lord, bring in harvest, meantime let Your people be hardworking in sowing the seeds.....help us not to be complacent Abba.....

Lord thank You for healing, thank You for healing Riana, thank You for your favor over the application of her daughter visa, it will be approved and all be well, Lord for Delphine's dad, in the Name of Jesus, spirit of death, go away! We cast you into the pit of hell. Delphine's dad shall live. Lord, we proclaim healing in her dad life, I pray you grant Delphine strength and wisdom as well. Help her to be strong and continue to show love to her family, that they will know that you are true and living God, thank You Abba!! You are good. 

Lord, for my family....especially brother,....Lord, save him and his family.....I wait on You, for that glorious day...I know You are going to do it! In your timing, meantime, please give me the patience to pray through without giving up. Lord for my mama.....I thank You Lord, that You had kept her strong and healthy, I know it is YOU.....You never fail me....so Lord, thank You for your faithfulness. Continue to watch over my mama, and my sis family. Lord intervene in things that she needed to change, Lord just speak to both her and her husband...You are good, Abba, thank You Jesus...I love you!

My head is aching "(

 Here am I.....not wanting to do anything.....my heart is so heavy, discerning whether is it time to move on..if it is...wouldn't God make it clear to me. Health is getting worst....from migraine to foot and now womb....what is wrong actually? I wish God could deliver me in a miraculous way....but guess it didnt happen, this thorn in flesh for my good ? Lord, i really don't know. All I know I am free from being bound.....I know I had overcome that....but why this pain still persist? Am I not walking in Your will ?

I had 3 emotional days, seeing Pastor Sam and his team ministering to my girls.....my heart always for them....I desire for them so much to grow and learn to love Jesus....but it always hurt me when they are not being obedient, perhaps my expectation is too high....sometimes I felt what I had poured to them is just pouring water down the drain...giving pearl to swine....but I know that is what the devil want me to think...it is not so....God sees all my tears, He sees all that I had poured to them...He sees how much I had sacrificed, finances, time and resources. But I just find it hard to overcome this barrier....my heart constantly battle with the thoughts that nobody cares. I know I am bless with my assistant now...I have a spiritual father that loves me much. what else do I want ? Lord, help me please....I really cant do it on my own strength....I wanted to be overcomer, but I always feel I am a defeater....reach my heart Abba.....

This is my 5th year....what would you have for me beyond this ? Lord, please help me to rise.....

13 Days in KK - Post Operation

Waiting for Mama Meng and hubby to pick me up and go back to KM. Past 13 days, it just passed just like that, yet i felt it was really a significant journey for me.

My worst nightmare came true, that if i was hospitalized or anything happen to me, i am alone to face it in Sabah, but God showed me that it shouldn't be the worst nightmare coz i had so so much love and support from many brothers and sisters in Christ, and even pre-believer friend. Before that I always think that I'm in a journey alone....3++ years in Sabah, nothing really major happening except for the covid infection in hostel. 2022 God finally provided a couple who really love people and Sabahans to come alongside with me...and there was I, hospitalized just at a time where i know hostel is in good care. Talk about timing huh 🤣

As I reflect back, how my heart felt so so thankful for everything that God brought me through. A friend who offer her house for me to recuperate, I met her in Johor when I was in core team taking care of medical students studying in Monash. Knew her housemate who is a dentist when I moved to Sabah. A senior whom I bumped into in Penang airport when I moved to Sabah...he happened to open his business here and been a constant help for me too. A mission friend whom I met once for a trip to Cambodia, who moved to Penang and became my friend and she was transferred to Sabah for work....and many more friends I met along my journey.....they were here for me...near and far....when my family can't be with me. Is all this coincident ? Definately not.....God know how to orchestra things so it work for the good of those who love Him. How I am in awe thinking of how God been so good to me.

Year 2022 start with many challenges but I know it is for building me, and so much God had spoken that at times it felt so overwhelming....Lord help me to always yield to You....to love You with all my heart. To focus on You as my source of strength and not to look to man but to the One who have made me....

I am going back to KM with fresh revelation, and I know God is doing many more great things in my life and I pray He will give me strength to break every unintended stuff in my life and to fully surrender myself to Him....it has really been a journey....I'm eternally grateful to Him...thank You Abba....love you so so so much 💞

17 September 2021 Mid-Covid Post

 Past 1 week was my worst nightmare in Jubilee Hostel. Cried buckets and there are moments where I felt I had no strength to carry on, but for sake for the students here, I had to press on. Despite all that I had done, the hostel is not spared from Covid. I guess the worst thing that hit me was that I kept thinking what went wrong. I had done all the necessary precaution, I had guarded them well, all my girls are aware of all the SOPs and I believe with all my heart and am confident that they understood well and adhere, though not strictly but they knew and the awareness is there....yet we lost it too.....

The worst is that I was all alone handling this...without clear direction from anyone....thankful for my spiritual father and mission friends and doctors friends who gave advice....but in the end...I am here to stay to face it on my own...the stress of handling 2 hostels at the same time, with girls here sick and etc...at same time needing to guard their emotions and the whole spiritual atmosphere of the hostel...and my own mental state....I have to guard it all against falling.....and so happen at the right time....I had known Edward from UK....at midnight hour...when I needed someone to pour out....he was there...not much he can do for me....except an ear to listen...and a prayer rendered to Abba...that is much more than enough...at just the right timing of my breakdown....talk about timing....How God never forsake me....sending even people as far as Scotland to minister to me.....

I am still asking Abba.....what is there to learn? and the whole feeling of anger of what if the opposite hostel management been managed properly...would this whole things erupt? And the suspicion of the whole thing began there....but now it seems that everyone think it started from my girls....I felt unjustified....is that something God wanna deal with me? But isnt everyone have to take responsibilities of what they have done? Isnt it unfair that this landed on me when I had done my best to safeguard my girls? Hmm...I dont know....my heart is just feeling so burdened.....and even as I think of the whole vision of the hostel now....would the students stay on ? Feeling like as if the enemy had triumph....that students will be back and then their education, their spiritual life going to be affected...and the enemy will win....what testimony there is then? And what is the purpose of this hostel then ? And what is my purpose here then with such little students ? 

There are so many questions in my mind.....a sense of defeat....which I know it shouldn't be there....so Lord...please help me to make things right : ( 

Every day....each time I think of this episode.....I will just cry....I dont know...I just feel so defeated...although in front of students I am still feeling tough...but inside me...really I am finding all the strength I can get from Abba....inside me...so much of tension...only Abba would understand....Lord minister to this heart of mine please!

Teach me to be still before You Lord!

Encouragement....

24 February 2020 12.33noon

It had been a rough month of January, with demise of my beloved aunt, my tension in the family, fingers and foot pain, emotional ups and downs, mom's cry for me to be back home...etc....but somehow....I know God will always bring me through. Compared with last year...I guess I am better in holding my emotions now....at least I dont cry in front of my students as often as last year...haha...super mensia suikan...

This encouragement below is from someone I barely know....but it speaks so much to me....Lord, I know many times I had failed you....but You remain faithful....I know You are going to help me through....Thank you Jesus...You know my heart desire most....and I commit myself into Your hand...lead me, guide me...keep me strong by Your side, Abba....

" If the burden of discipleship within you is so strong, don't let anything stop you. Each person is given a certain measure of His Spirit to do what is intended. Perhaps you have a different Spirit, the right Spirit for the right time and place. I don't think God minds the gender. Maybe a Tai Kar Cher figure is what they need. When God's Spirit is upon you, flow with it. You'll then find favor in the sight of God and man (Lk 2:52).

When the girls share their problems, sometimes it's good to just be listeners and pray with them. Sometimes, no words is a good option too. At least you pray for them. As you go along, the experience will help and you'll gain further wisdom. You'll become wiser and able to counsel better. It'll be better than learning the theories of counseling. This is real life and the Spirit that searches all things, even the deep things of God will be your Greatest Helper and Revealer (1 Cor 2:9-12). Counseling and discipling the young ones is an enriching ministry if it is done in total dependance with the Spirit of God. Mother Theresa didn't start as a professional. She was as green as you. But she turned up to be a great figure. I see potential in every person. You can be the Mother Celina for your students! "

Something that I want to remind myself every year....sent from someone i barely know....and how God is always so so faithful and timely....

21 January 2020

Its a new year, and I'd entered this new year with much challenges....the most significant was my pain on my foot, thumb and finger. I thought I could endure the pain quite well, but it had came to a level where I cannot endure anymore. Feeling quite frustrated with the "handicapp" i had. I havent been touching any work in the hostel, I know it do me good, but still...so much to be done....expecting the students to do it means I have to lower down my expectation so much.

Yesterday, my heart just ache...for the things happening in the hostel, for the things spoken with my sis and my own emotion and feeling really got me down...oh Lord....there are many deepest things that only You understand. Help me run this race with perseverance. There are times I just wish I can go home....there are times I felt I will be..earlier than anyone would guess....but is it just what I want or is it sth that is going to happen? I do not want to die with pain, but I want to leave this world leading many people to Christ. Perhaps I have the blood of martyr in me? Well well...life is really difficult la...more so when I am always been alone in the journey with God...I know no one is permanent in life....but at least there is more than just this....Lord, please help me to align my thinking to You...I need you...really need you...

Renewed Strength

I had a very good 1 week plus break...and am grateful for the time to get away and spend with family and friend, most important, getting away from everything else and sat at the feet of Jesus and learn from Him during the camp, having solitude of my own and alot alot alot of sleep during camp too. I guess age is catching up....no longer like those younger days where I go camp, besides to learn of God, I also wanna make friend. This round, purely alot time alone, and connection is secondary, nevertheless I am thankful that I manage to sell all my notebooks and calendar when I was in KL :)  I was abit scared tak laku, anyway, committing to Abba...and yea...I see His hand on it. I still have 80 calendars and notebooks to order...waiting for the new template to launch and I will be hardworking working on best design. Pray I will be able to sell all and the profit will all go to my students. Hmm....sometimes I wonder why do I do that....with all the hardworks, the profit isnt really significant...but I guess I am just doing my part...praying someone will receive the calendar as gift and felt led to sponsors some of my students. Hmm....I am super warden...can go to that extend in helping the kids...

Just wanna pen down highlight of my break...and what the Lord once again spoke into my heart....sometimes, people would wonder, is that for real...how do I hear from God...I guess everybody's experience is different...to me, all my life is about God....and surely it is very unnatural for me to have Godly thoughts, unless it is the Lord....

I had good time catching up with friend frm Penang and thank God she came, otherwise I would feel alone in the wedding. God really have a way of bringing events and people across my path :)
Each wedding would bring different emotion and feelings to me....as I sat in the church, I was reminded again....what the Lord had spoken when I visited the church the 1st time. The same friend who brought me to visit her church, now she is married in the same church. Write a book......revisiting the vision the Lord had laid in my heart, but I am not a discipline person, busyness of life really suck me in many times. It was also my first time witnessing a young man interpreting Pastor's mandarin message to English...oh Lord, that you raise more young man like him :)

I met many of my friend's friend from Kampar...3 of them are Christian....yet they appear the same as everybody else....sitting the same table with them....I just wish I had the opportunity to share, but doesn't have that golden opportunity coz all of them are so busy entertaining their phones and selfies. I do feel abit out of place...if I do not quit my job, I guess I would also be earning well and having quite a gala time of my life....but all those are history liao....anyway, thank God...I am feeling more secure in Christ....but my heart just feel abit sayang....perhaps I am abit unrealistic....but I feel each Christian wedding should bring out the gospel to the max...haha...but not every one think like me....anyway, am glad at least I got the opportunity to talk abit abit about my work and why do I give up job....and I pray those around the table with me...Lord, You will touch them...

On Sunday, I went visit SIB Skyline as my friend have to leave to airport at noon, so SIB Skyline service fits the schedule. I am contemplating to change to SIB Skyline...coz I felt kind of out of place frm Kingdomcity already....I wish I could join them as often as I can, and be connected and do life together, as the slogan says...but I am too far....and it's so hard to really know anyone when I'm like kitkat, now u see now u don't.

Many times really feel alone here....if not coz the assurance after assurance that Abba gave me...I guess I wont last....the message during the service is so apt...both for me and my friend. Pr Joshua Siaw was one sharing the Word...and he is also a young man....very encouraged to see many young man rising up this trip :) The message is nothing new...but the Lord dropped something very significant again in my heart...set apart for him. I always asked the Lord...why me....and why I always have to be one so zealous and care for ppl, but when I needed help, I can only cry out to Abba...but that Sunday...the Lord just impress upon my heart...that I am special, I am set apart for Him...."My life have always been set apart for Him, never look back again, serve Him wholeheartedly...not grumbling and thinking what if and what if again and again. This is the journey He has set apart for you for this season of life, so move on higher with Him...For He is the one who has set you apart for him". I have always said I wanna go back corporate....but I guess....what I needed to do....just never look back anymore and believing Abba have greater things for me.

I received msg frm WA group about East Malaysia, but did not read about it......after sending friend to airport....then only I read it.....and I see how God is putting all the puzzle together....why I did not read the msg earlier.....but after what the Lord had whisper....the WA message came as a confirmation of what the Lord has laid in my heart....so Celina....press on...

Moving Into 5780 and Beyond
Chuck Pierce in Kuching @October 29, 2019

God’s covenant word is built around harvest time as the feasts of the Lord indicated. He wants us to have harvest mentality. The last 70 years (since Israel became a state?) this 5780 ends to a beginning.  Isaiah 32:1 says “See, a king will reign in righteousness and rulers will rule with justice” in a new era. In this island of Borneo, Brunei, Indonesia and Malaysia are entering together. Expect many changes. When God has a plan for the region, He will not stop until He accomplishes it in His perfect moment. God always look to His people seeking Him. Worship to breakthrough in a new way has come to Malaysia. In every key era God sends His new wind of the Spirit. When Jesus said, “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.” (Matthew 16:18), He means upon this rock of revelation, I will build my “ecclesia”. It means He is sending ambassadors into territories to transform them, to bind them and to loose them. It takes 70 years for the church to form. The church needs to assess her strengths and weaknesses and then look for how to correction their weaknesses in order to strengthen them. 

A new wind is blowing in churches of East Malaysia bringing an overcoming anointing. After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." (Revelation 4:1) In this new era, the war intensifies. It’s the era of the Dragon and the Lion war. God’s people learn to manuevre the war structure and prevail on earth. East Malaysia is the key to the future, a voice of stability. Borneo island becomes a key to awakening Malaysia. Awakening anointing is on Borneo, a new mantle which represents Isaiah 35, a new highway, a new awakening and what planted will be blossomed. Kota Kinabalu (KK) is the miracle gate. In the next 8 months God will cause KK to blossom.  In North East Malaysia I will open up miracle gate for the next decade. Sibu is the seed of decree. In the new season of decree and speaking forth, a new mantle has come to Sibu. When you open your mouth wide, you speak forth prophecy that has been withheld to come to pass. When miracles coming from KK, Sibu will speak forth and will expand your sphere of authority. Over the next 3 years Borneo Island will become the Maritime Center. Kuching represents the new authority, a new identity has come. In this change, a new awakening in the business world. Government will change. Isaiah 45:11, the Lord is saying, “Ask Me of things to come; will you command Me concerning My children and the work of My hands?” WE can command the works of God’s hand to work and then watch for miracles to happen. The Lord says, “My eyes are on this land but it’s up to you to command My hands to operate. Command every detail for it to be accomplished. I AM ready to perform My works in the next 3 years. Sibu shall decree the things and I shall start working. One command, one decree and I’ll start to move.” 

Great change is coming to this island (Borneo). In the next 3 years, there will be conflict over my Rulership But I AM setting an order today, a kingdom people who has My saying for this land. Get ready a new anointing, a new Spirit is coming to My people. My Spirit will begin to manifest in churches, cities and many will say “The atmosphere of East Malaysia has changed.” In the new era My people voice will be heard. I AM raising Judah worshippers from KK to Kuching. Corporate worship incorporate a sound of heaven and the people will cause heaven and earth to align. 

Several things to look at:
1. Ability to call wind to order.
2. Call back what’s been divided into a new dimension
3. Put together a whole new move of the Spirit in the land. 
Time of deliverance. By April next year you will see great changes to this land. Worship with freedom. As the sound of freedom permeates the churches, you’re setting ambush against the enemy. Raising anew generation of worshippers to have stronger sound to prophesy to the 3 generations together. Judah begins to move. 

Apostolic-Prophetic rule must be established to align the 5 fold gifts together.  I am decreeing East Malaysia to align all the gifts of God together, as a model worldwide to see His church rising up with power.  This is how we establish the apostolic prophetic rule:
1. Each person knows his/her sphere of authority and how you align and operate, not just church but church in all cultures of society.  
2. Recognize what God wants to do in the past and bring it into the future.
People in East Malaysia will have the experience to allow the Spirit to come down in great authority in the midst of chaotic conflict. There will be change in Maritime ports of Asia. Indonesia and Malaysia can change. This new season God is going to break through, a new glory dimension is coming to East Malaysia.  A new glory culture to be built, altar to be built in the marketplace and education and the church be renewed. 

A window of heaven has been positioned and God is roaring down from that window and come alive in you. Your roar will be greater than the enemy. Prophet Eisha told king Joash to shoot through that window. Eisha then put his hands on Joash to give him unlimited strength to move forward. But Joash only shot 3 times. It made the old prophet mad because if Joash would shoot 7 times, he would have changed the entire region. Prophetic anointing has been placed in your hands. I am reoving the limits of your past season. I’m giving you new strength allowing you to target what you need to target, so don’t hold back. This is the time you go forward with new strength, new power, new anointing, new revelation. You’ll shoot and keep shooting until Borneo ……
I’m giving you authority for the next 3 years, don’t back down now. Move forward. My Spirit will lead you. First People of the land has the DNA of the land. They have the ability to sing and dance and to unlock the land.  Judah first. Over the next 3 years you will see a new powerful demonstration of worship in Borneo. KK, Sibu, Kuching will affect Indonesia greatly. Worship of heaven and earth align will shake the island.

Normally I dont take prophecy seriously...but this came just as timely....not coz of prophecy....even it doesnt come to pass....to me, it is a confirmation of the same message that the Lord has dropped in my heart....

He is really good...I just cannot help thanking Him for all the goodness in my life...how He so love me....Thank You Abba.

"If you don't know God, you will misunderstand Him, if you misunderstand Him, you will misrepresent Him" - Pr Daniel Foo -