30 November 2015, a month before bidding 2015 goodbye

It had been 2 months since I came back from Sabah...spent a month in Hawaii and it has been a month I was back in Penang....

This 2 months brought me so much tears, the painful lessons that I have to learn along the way, I stumble and fall, but God always pick me up again. When the time I was in my desperade situation, it's always the time I was left all alone...and this is exactly how the Lord deal with me, to focus just in Him rather than men...

Coming back to Penang again is quite a scary things for me somehow, the trauma of all the negative words spoken against me...the discouragements I received and also heart issues which needs to be dealt with...and I just can't do it in my own. Was like a yoyo for some time, but now I am declaring this to come to past; I am highly favored, deeply loved, greatly bless! I guess in ministry that's what would happen, and I believe everything I had gone through are preparation for me, in life there would be much hurts, esp from the loves one...that's why my heart have to be really tough...things would work out fine when I am in a place where nobody knows me...because I went in as ministers...people look up to me, but when I'm back to my own home, and if I were to be in a ministry for a permenant period of time...that's where all the rubbings would come...and if I am so sensitive and easily hurt, I think I would be doom...so I have to really train myself to put up an armour of God...to help me in this journey, with belt of truth buckle around my waist, breastplates of righteousness, shoes ready with the gospel, shield of faith with which extinguish the darts from the enemy, helmet of salvation and sword of the spirit which is the word of God. In all these, pray in the spirit as how the Lord leads....

I really cannot be bothered by how other people look at me but what does the Lord really is saying? Many times opposition will just come, and I gotta just move on and on and on...

Last Saturday again the Lord speaks something which is unreasonable...with a very heart I have to listen...if it is from Him, and I test it out, my faith would rise again, Lord, as i painfully give it all to You, You, You will return it to me back with many many folds.

Many times its really very scary...but when He speaks, He will bring it to past...

So Lord I am trusting You....and You shall bring it to past....